I have been re-married for a year and a half now and we have four kids between the two of us.(BS12, BD9, SS12.5, SD10.5) Mine live with us and go to their BF every other weekend. DH gets his kids every weekend except the first weekend of the month. During the week things are great.....life rolls on like it should. Once the weekend comes around my DH changes completely. He becomes inseparable from his kids and I become the outsider. When the skids arrive everything turns into kiddie fun house.
My biggest problem that I am dealing with right now and I need help figuring out how to deal with is.................. DH feels the need to cuddle with SS12.5 and SD10.5 every minute he can. The skids fight over who gets to sit in Daddy's lap and then I usually see them sitting together with a kid on each leg. He allows them both to lay in the bed with us(which is not a problem in most cases)while the skids lay on his chest(one on each side) and he rubs there backs and plays with their hair and kisses them on the head. This is also the same affection he gives me and I am beginning to push away from it because I don't want my intimate moments with my husband to be the same as he has with his kids. SD will even wrap her legs over his..........again, this is something that I find should be only appropriate for the husband and wife. The skids will ONLY go swimming in our pool if DH is with them. They refuse to swim and play in the pool with my BS and BD. The pool thing is just an example of how most EVERYTHING goes at our house. I noticed this past weekend that the skids WILL NOT do anything without DH. If they are not playing video games they are sitting in his lap, laying on his chest or begging him to go fishing play soccer etc. In the car they are holding hands.......walking in the mall they are all three holding hands.....sitting out at the park they are holding hands. In restaurants the SD is always trying to sit in his lap after she is done eating. SD will come in and say DADDY come snuggle with me. At first I thought it was cute but that was many years ago.......I thought they would outgrow it.......but it has actually gotten worse. Or maybe just more noticeable because they are older. Everyone notices it and points it out to me.
My kids are not like this AT ALL! We are affectionate just not like that!! I can't even begin to imagine having my BS laying on my chest in my bed for hours on end. My kids are also very independent. My BD will play upstairs for hours. The skids REFUSE to do anything without DH unless we physically force them.
This is having a serious strain on our relationship. Right now...........I want nothing to do with DH because all weekend I was just the maid and chef. Now that the skids are gone he wants to be intimate again. I feel like I am just around to fill the void he has when his kids aren't around. I know I need to tell him how I feel but I am scared to death of the outcome. I know he will not take it well.
DH is very much the weekend dad who just wants to play play play. But my biggest issue TODAY is the affection issue. Please help.