How did the GF come to live with you? Was there discussion and agreement between you and DH? If so, was there a plan for SS or GF to contribute financially or otherwise? (If they are not contributing in any way then, yes, you are being used.)  Or was she just moved in one day?

Either way, having basically a stranger living in with you has got to be difficult. I'm glad the end is in sight. If you weren't part of the decision for her to move in, oh heck no, that would not fly with me and I'd be way more than upset.

Personally, I am very against a young couple living at home with parents. It's just something that I wouldn't allow. If they want to move out together, fine but you aren't playing house under my roof. 

Your new, so welcome to steptalk! 

You arent feeling anything that is unusual. It seems like your husband went over your head on things. SS is unhappy living there? Oh well, he is more than welcome to leave.

So what you are feeling is normal. Your sanctuary has been invaded by hostile energy (SS) and you are being used and taken advantage of by both SS and SS GF.

Here is what you should do in this order:

1. Read around on here. Theres a lot of different "flavors" but we all go through similar things: lack of parenting, parenting out of fear, parenting out of guilt...

2. Have a heart to heart with husband. You didnt mention that he discussed anything with you about SS's launch plan or GF moving in. You need to discuss this with him. Tell him that you and he are equity life partners and that you need to be united in all things ergo you need to discuss SS and his launch plan and GF.

3. In the time between now and move out, the following is required: rent will be paid on weekly basis. Contributions to the household will be thusly (water, electric, internet, etc)

4. Discussion with SS and GF about launch/moveout plans.

Find out if your DH has discussed birth control with SS or there could be 3 of them living there ("We need babysitting help so we can work").

She doesn't need to be living your house.  If it's only "a few months" until they have their own place, then they can wait "a few months" to start cohabiting.  It will be way too easy for them to get comfortable living with you, and those months turn into them never leaving.  

Just, no.

The description of your SS's behavioral bullshit is more than enough explanation of why you do not want him/them in your home.

Don't over complicate it.

Change the locks.  

It's your home, GF goes or DH goes with SS.   Your DH supposed to have your back.  Telling him GF goes is something that he must do for you.  You let this happen you have no say in this relationship.  Then why stay in a relationship you are not happy in it.

Simple NO!!! Should suffice. 
 

• They aren't married
• They have no deadlines 
• SS said he didn't even like it there
• They haven't offered to pay anything on the mortgage or electric bill

No, No, and No

If you feel compelled to help, put down $600 or whatever on a week at an extended stay and send them packing. 

I can't imagine why you WOULD like it so yes all of those reasons are sound. I wouldn't even want the ss living with me at 18 let alone his little gf too. I'd say no absolutely not. Not just no but hell no. Especially if ss doesn't like being there in the first place? Then he can get a move on a little faster.

How did she come to be living there? Did she slip in during the quiet of night and never leave, or did your husband agree to it?

She needs to be gone!  

I never allowed that. It isn't a moral thing with me. I just figured if my sons had free food rent and sex, I would never get rid of them! Let them live at her parents house. 

Im wondering how its going over there????