Wow what an insane weekend.
After the bowling incident on Saturday night with SD13(see last blog post), I think SO felt kinda bad. We had a pretty good Sunday morning and everything was going smooth. We had some running around to do in the afternoon so the 3 of us were going to go. SD goes upstairs to get ready and comes down again with way to much makeup on (big issue for SO) so he tells her to go upstairs and take it off. She argues ofcourse but he stands his ground and she goes up to take it off. I go upstairs to finish getting ready and go into the hall closet and find all the drawers open and my eye makeup remover is gone. Well she obviously knows that im going to freak so she leaves the bathroom quickly and goes into her room. I follow her and see that she's about to put it in her makeup bag, obviously shes trying to hide it so I don't lose it! I ask for it back and she gives it to me and I tell her as calmly as possible that this is the LAST time this is happening. She is NOT to touch my stuff without asking me and i'm not kidding anymore and am so sick of this. I was infuriated. For those of you who don't know me, she continually goes into the closet, my room etc and takes my things without asking and it drives me nuts to no end. I went into the bathroom to finish my hair and I couldn't do it anymore. I went downstairs and told SO. I'm sick of hiding from how how fucking annoying his kid is. I told him that she keeps taking my stuff and ive told her a thousand times and she just doesn't listen and he needs to do something NOW! I went upstairs and could hear him yelling at her because she just doesn't get it. She doesn't understand boundaries and doesn't understand the concept of asking for things.
SO is starting to get extremely frustrated with her on a constant basis. Every 2 minutes its something. Asking for something, complaining about something, interrupting, arguing, not doing what she told, taking stuff she's not supposed to, making a mess. He gives her such a hard time because it is literally every 2 minutes shes doing something wrong or frustrating him about something.
She got in shit about something else later on in the day when we got home and he lost it on her and sent her up to her room and I could see he was ready to break down.
He doesn't understand why she doesn't get it. Why she doesn't just do what shes told.
I explained to him that the main problem is there are NO boundaries at BM's house. She is put on a pedestal and can do whatever she wants. She can act how she wants, wear what she wants, take what she wants, say what she wants and literally do whatever she wants and BM says nothing. Theres no dinner time rules (elbows off the table, don't burp, don't say its gross), no bedtime, no phone or internet restrictions, no chores. She is the adult in that house and rules it. BM doesn't want to be a mom, she wants to be her friend.

It's not entirely SD13's fault. We only have her EOW and now Tuesdays. I can imagine It would be incredibly difficult to go from being at one house for 2 weeks that has no rules, to a house that is not necessarily strict, but a house with rules and expectations and boundaries.

Has anyone else experienced this? We have tried to talk to BM about it but she wont do anything. She says things are fine at her house so she doesn't care what goes on at ours. I just don't know how we can get her to understand that there are certain expectations of her when she's at our house. I mean she's getting in trouble from SO all the time because she just keeps messing up. I just don't know what to do besides just give up and let her do what she wants for 4 days a month.....I feel like we are stuck