I call BM "Mother Superior" and the 3 skids "the Holy Trinity". The skids have also been referred to as "Muffy, Buffy and Scruffy." }:)

I call mine bubble butt! but mainly just bitch as that is what she is. or sometimes i call her fake mother of the year. She is all about appearances, she couldn't have cared less who she was married to but hat it ended in divorce as she wanted everyone to think they had the happiest marriage. And when it happened she had to convince herself that dh cheated instead of her and that she tried to convince anyone that would listen that I was preggo which the only reason dh married me. then it was that dh refuses to pay cs or have anything to do with the kids.

Shitty Shitty Sh(insert her name). It rhymes, and we are just THAT mature. And MOTY.

She is also known as "loser" "slutty" and "trailor trash".

Of course NONE of these are used in the presence of anyone but DH and I.

I don't have nicknames for DH other than Babe, Baby, Love, BesFrien (best friend) Hubs, but he has plenty for me. "Wife for Life, Pricess Wiggle, Lover" really anythings silly that comes to mind.

I had to completely change my "naming convention" as I came dangerously close to being busted on this site by guilty biodaddykins. As it is, he went BALLISTIC b/c he saw that I was emailing a fellow STalker about our plight.

Play Bill

Cast of Characters (revised since 3/11)

GG: (or God's Gift) Biodad (that's because he think's he's god's gift to women; that his contracting skills FAR OUTWEIGH the fact that he is left with practically zero paycheque after CS is taken out)

Behemoth: (BM) Six foot tall, 250 lb red headed, freckle faced with permanent patented squinty smile to show every tooth in her head. (Bought and paid for by HER BM, the Wookie and GG when they were dating)

Wookie: The Behemoth's mom. A BM who is umbilically attached to her "princess" daughter (Behemoth) who was PASed out against her own father and spoiled to the hilt. Bailed her out of drunken frat/sorority parties, pranks, plagiarism during college.

Snuffleupagus: Jumbo sized current husband of the Behemoth. I'm sure he never knew what he was getting into and is probably on some mind bending narcotic to keep life bearable with those three, what can only be described as "chimps on crack" running around.

He plays Mafia Wars on FB constantly as well as video games out the ying yang. Oh and he's about 49 years old (can we say "big kid?")

Brainiac: (SS stb 15) Although goofy, I have the most hope for the Brainiac as GG and the Behemoth at least TRIED to parent him and teach him some simple social mores (e.x. "don't start fights) He currently is passing High School with a low D average and has been told by the Behemoth that he needn't worry about grades as he's going to be the next Angus Young (AC/DC)

Venus De Milo: (as in the Jim Carey woman body builder on steroids character in Living Color; SD stb 13)

Possibly the worst of the lot. Tomboyesque/Annie Oakley-like. Likes to harm and torment/torture small animals. Is amazingly manipulative. Caught her going through my purse and her father's wallet using Brainiac as a "look out" at the tender age of nine. Has been classified (erroneously) as "learning disabled" due to the wishes of the Behemoth so as to put a smoke and mirrors like cover over the Behemoth's piss poor "parenting." The first of the three to be raised by the "instant gratification/pacification" model. Will readily cheat when not winning at games and can lie like a rug. Currently being pushed up through the school system with grades a hair above "Fs" Reads and writes at a 2nd grade level, yet has "Bieber Fever." Has been the "apple of GG's eye." Has most of GG's features, blonde curly hair (GG is now balding though), rosy cheeks, blue eyes. Looks like the Sunbeam bread girl, yet she should be sporting a pair of HORNS! Both SSs look like the Behemoth, shock of red hair, pale white skin. All three children are oversized for their age to put it mildly.

Prince Hygiene: (SS 8 1/2) Totally socially and mentally stunted. Has been coddled and babied and is approx 4 years behind by any and all maturation standards. Has ZERO manners, hygiene, etiquette. Is consistently allowed to interrupt adult conversation:

PH: (noticing I was talking to his dad; a big no no in PH's book) "Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad!!"

GG: (allowing the interrupting and responding in a sugary sweet sing songy voice) "What is it Honnnnneeeeeey?

PH: (trying to think of something to say since the whole point was to interrupt the conversation I was having with his dad)
"Um, um, um, err, um, err, um. . . ummmmm, errr, umm" (20 second pause) "One day, I saw a squirrel."

This conversation actually took place; I am NOT making any of it up.

Uncle Kinky: GG's traiterous full blooded brother (there were at least two marriages on his parent's part) who sided with the Behemoth and is shunning GG to this day. He happens to be "alternative lifestyle" not that there is anything wrong with that.

Seasoned Citizen: GG's oldest half brother who likes me, yet GG does not see eye to eye with him and would rather believe his ex-MIL, the lying wookie over Seasoned Citizen

Mr. Neutral: GG's half brother who thinks "can't we all just get along" and who keeps in touch with the goings on of his PASed out children. He feels the need to constantly update GG and every so slightly prod him back into his disney daddy lifestyle.

Plus a cast of many others (GG's half sisters, nephews, nieces, etc)

BF calls her the old hag she is one year older than me but looks at least 10 years older. She has not aged well at all. My fave is the "fruit bat" my BM is about 5 feet tall maybe weighs 90lbs soaking wet. She has a big huge head and ears and pointy nose. She is just lovely :sick:

The BM in our situation is Uberskank. Narcissistic whore with a cold, black lump of pure evil where her heart should be.

BM - Fatass Geriatric Bitch - she's 10 years older. To DH, Your Biggest Mistake, Golden Uterus (because she had his first born, therefore.....she will always be #1, ask the whore), Crotch Rot, and Fugly Little C**T

SS18 - FDR(future death row - drug addict/meth head skated felony charges at 16 for drug use - went back to using/selling moment off probation), Heffer's walking talking crotch rot, and whacked out piece of shit (kid is crazy)

Usually it is just..."the bitch". When BM did something really stupid, DH would then refer to her as..."the fat fcuking bitch"

"Fetus Holder" or " cunt face/rag".......names for BM

There are also time I refer to DH's kid and Uberskank (the BM) as the Entitlement Twins.

I had far more experience with Baby Huey, the bf's son. He's actually smart, a thoughtful kid and got potential when prompted to use it, but that's a rare event. An almost 14yo bed wetter (no physical condition to excuse it, can't be bothered to lift the lid and hit the toilet either); 5'3" and 200+lbs; constantly needing the attention of his "Dad. Dad. Dad...." (always in the tone of calf bleating for a teat); jumping into every conversation with nonsense "awww, ain't I so precocious?" blabber. "Baby Huey" just fit.

I call his BM "the elephant in the living room." She's bigger than BH and noisier too. Bf will probably be carrying his resentment and fear of her into everyone else's living room forever after. Perhaps demanding the people who own the living rooms enable him to enable her so he can feel right about his noble (cough) actions. Bf is simply the "spineless wonder." I don't have any trademarks on that, just fits.

We call her an owl. Cause she looks like one. And sometimes we have a contest on how many times we can get her to say WHO? lol

OMG I'm cracking up here! Thank you, I needed this! I just told DH the other day that we need to come up with a name for BM. He calls her "Commander BM" (insert her name) because she's so controlling. I usually just refer to her as "the whack".

I needed a laugh today. We call BM (her name)Bitchface. Stupid(hername)bitchface, and c-word breath are some variations. Trash whore is also a good one. We call the Skids Doris(SS12) and Cleo(SS10) because they remind me of my Jewish grandmother who sits and complains all day long about anything and everything. SS12 is also known as "Kyle's cousin Kyle," which is only funny if you watch South Park as frequently as DH and I do. It defies explanation, I strongly suggest you look it up on YouTube.

Brilliant! I love this! I feel like I've joined a great gang who know exactly how I feel after yrs of thinking I was just plain evil. Most of my names are directed at SS15 I'm afraid and mainly consist of swear words that I say over and over in the car when I'm driving home from work and knoe he's gonna be in.....I also stick 2 fingers up to him thru his closed bedroom door everytime i go past. No one ever sees me/hears me but it gives me incredible satisfaction.
BM is listed as 'Dragon' in my partners mums phone, I call her anything I can think of that is most offensive at the time.....she is alot older than me and wears alot shorter skirts than me...get a picture?