ANOTHER CPS question...
like previously posted, BM called cps on us. They cleared us officially last night cause they thought it was just a bogus ass claim they didnt even need to have on their list.
We had since then called CPS on BM. They are investigating her now. We told them everything that we have experienced with her-- us making police reports of her assaulting me infront of ss and bd, making police reports of her not wanting to take ss back-- as far as not answering phone calls or the door when we go by to take him.
We also told them about some release she had to sign at daycare stating that scratches and cuts he got from home came from THEIR home.
We also recently got myspace pics of her drinking-- on MANY different occassions, and a youtube video of her downing shots.
Does anyone know how much this will mean to CPS? I understand CPS will sometimes sit on their asses and do nothing, but ss is almost 4, is not talking (DH enrolled him in speech therapy cause she wouldnt), and isnt potty trained. we took him for 2 wks straight when she wasnt going by court order and trained him. when we sent him back, she didnt go through with it. You wanna know what her answer was? "He doesnt need to get potty trained cause hes not going to head start. head start only babysits half a day. I need him to get watched all day, and daycare will change his diapers anyway." His teeth are never brushed-- they have plauque buildup and weve asked her who his dentist is and she wont tell us.
Will CPS do anything about ANY of this? from what i hear I dont have much hope for them but at the moment, we dont have the means to get a lawyer and fight her out in court. We plan to later, which is why im taking notes, but we just cant afford it now. I just want to know if she will get in ANY trouble, or if at least theyll scare her into paying attention to him?
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You should ask your
You should ask your attorney. I should think that the pictures and video will mean something to them. All I can say is show CPS all of your documentation.
I think you should have custody of SS.
I'm glad they cleared you
I'm glad they cleared you guys of any wrongdoing. And as much as I am a fan of revenge }:) I don't think fighting fire with fire is a good idea at this point.
I think that for the child's benefit, its good that you guys enrolled him in speech therapy. They will definitely take note of any odd behavior.
How about taking him to a pediatrician and discussing his potty training issues? I think they can give you a better idea of what is normal or not, although I do believe that by 4 he should be trained or almost there at least.
The same thing goes for the dentist. Take him to one that has children dental services and get his teeth examined. Why wait for information on "her dentist", when she may never have taken him to one?
CPS really doesn't take away children for plaque and stuff like that. It usually has to be severe, such as beatings, malnutrition, etc.
If you can't afford court now, just continue to document. I know you guys want to give him a better, stable, environment, but right not you are doing all that you can
well thats the problem. we
well thats the problem. we are going by straight court order now. that means we only get him thurs for 2 hrs from 6-8 and every other wkend, and during none of that time can we take him to a dentist or doctor because theyre not open wkends, and even if we find one, she wont give us his medicaid info.
We used to just get him when we could but since we called the cops on her when she didnt want to take him back for the millionth time, she told us "lets go by court order" so we have.
so we try to help him when we can, but we cant do much when we dont have him often.
we are dealing with a cps
we are dealing with a cps claim now.
ss told me, and dh that bm's bf hit him with a belt. ss finally told daycare lady and by law she had to report it. she called, they asked 12 questions. one of which was does he have bruises or scratches? she said no so they said they would not investigate (you can read my previous blogs about the whole ordeal) dh called to see about claim they said there wasn't one, so he said wtf? my child is suffering emotional stress and you wont investigate because there aren't bruises? they said no, take pictures of any marks he does get, even if they are unrelated and then report and they will come out. i think it was 2 weeks after the claim was made that they showed up at her door, we dont know if they contacted her by phone before (shes a liar) they never contacted us.
I would honestly think that cps might care if you can relate the drinking to neglecting the child. dh went to mediation yesterday and he used all the photos i had taken of bm's myspace the dumb ass thinks its not blocked. anyways, the mediator thought it was all very important and interesting and made photos for the judge...........i would say that if they dont get you an investigation by cps, they will come in handy at some point. are you guys going to take her to court for full custody? she sounds horrible.
oh i forgot, cps and the court dont really care about potty training because it is different with each kid...in our experience anyways.
yes, we do plan to take her
yes, we do plan to take her to court for custody later. we just cant afford to now with unexpected bills that came up. This is why ive been gathering everything. i just dont want to be getting all of these things together for it go go nowhere.
does she have money for a
does she have money for a lawyer?
bm filed to go to court, and we are fighting her with no lawyer, she doesnt have one either.
honestly, after yesterday with what happened to my dh, as long as you are prepared and go to court with your documentation and photos, police reports, videos, etc i dont think you need a lawyer. i know it didnt cost bm anything to file, and besides my time getting everything together for dh, we wont spend a penny.
everything helps!!! just as many members told me when i asked the same question! it will all be helpful at some point, and if nothing else show that you are concerned and involved parents.
well my DH went to the
well my DH went to the courthouse here to try to file to get our pick up changed (we have to pick him up at her house but she assaulted me there) and they told him at county court that he needed to speak with a lawyer. I wanted us to file pro se, and they told us to get a lawyer. Counry court here is a joke. I work in federal, and we do all we can to help pro se litigants, but for some reson county wont/.
we used drinking photos
we used drinking photos because she had them date stamped and they were days he was with her and there were also pictures of ss posted date stamped with the same day. If she is downing shots, drinking excessively...it wont paint her in the best light. at least thats what happened for us....and it was only two pictures of her drinking beer.
i am in southern CA so i dont know how much things differ, but, i think they may be encouraging you to get a lawyer to fight it faster since lets face it most govt employees are there to pick up a check since they get paid no matter how much work they actually do...
to me it seems that is way too discriminatory to refuse to allow a parent who cant afford a lawyer to fight for custody of their child. do you guys have to go through mediation first before any judge like here where we live? im mediation yesterday, dh and bm were asked if either had a lawyer, and both said no and that they would not be getting one....therefore at the end of the month for court with the judge both can NOT show up with a lawyer, and all custody and stipulations have already been determined, the judge just have to sign off on it as a court order.
We've never been given the
We've never been given the option of mediation. How do we get that? We called the attorney general here once in an attempt to get SOME help n they only said the deal with child support enforcement n for us to get a lawyer. Who do we get a mediation meeting from? We would love at least that chance. We don't want to drag this out. We just want to show her that she can't get it all. We've gone by what she wanted n let a lot of shit fly but were done. Especially with her bringing my bd into this. We just want fair visitation, for her to realize that her son is a child not a payheck so he needs attention too. So I guess to sum it up, to scare her into some resposibility as a mother n get some boundaries for us.
here in CA, you dont have a
here in CA, you dont have a choice. you have to go to mediation before court and try to work it out. The mediator is a psychologist and is purely there for the sake of the child. its like they are they on behalf of the child. they call out the wrong doing of each parent, and pretty much say what they will and wont get in court. if the two parents can reach an agreement, then they go in front of the judge to fight it out. i dont know where you are, but there is some loop hole to your situation because you do not need a lawyer to fight for a child. maybe they are trying to say that its already a court order (final judgment) and with out a lawyer you are wasting your time. as the mediator told my dh and bm, final judgment is exactly that FINAL, and unless you have some huge case against the other parent with horrifying proof and what not there are no judges that will even give you the time of day.
as the person below states....CPS is a joke and over all pretty useless, i had no faith when over a week after the day care lady reported that ss told her bm's bf was hitting him they did not investigate. they even told my dh when he called to follow up that they would net waste their time to investigate....but low and behold they ended up showing up at her house
after our experience i have to say i have some faith in the system....you may get fucked over for a while, but if you do it by the book, follow the court order, love that child, ignore bm as much as possible, and document! document! document! eventually (hopefully) karma will kick the bitch in the head!!!
we have to go to mediation
we have to go to mediation first. Look in the phone book==there is a special department for mediation. You call and tell them that you need to set up an appt. they give you all the info--cost ect. They ask you if she will go on her own or if she needs to be served.
We had BM served and will next time too. It is at her cost and you ensure that she will be there.
BTW you split the cost of mediation- here it is free the first time and $100 a each for the following appts. You get what you can done in an hour and a half.
maybe in CA we have more
maybe in CA we have more carzy bm's than other places, lol
because mediation is mandatory before court. the judges have so many cases that are a waste of time and so they send you to mediation first so a psychologist can review both parents and get to the bottom of what its all about, whats best for the child, and then either gets both parents to agree or gives the jugd a summary for court with their reccomendations.
actually dh and bm had to attend an introduction that was mandatory before even going to mediation. there was no cost, and was all part of the process.
Interesting. No we don't
Interesting. No we don't have that here, if it goes to court after mediation the judge handles it. They don't write a report for the court, the mediator just sits and soesn't allow a fight. They are not allowed to take sides, or give advice.
That is so sad, but true
That is so sad, but true around here too.
i feel for you, it will be a
i feel for you, it will be a long hard road with the cps,and court systems. but we did it, just be honest and kiss their buts, do every thing they ask (i.e. parenting classes and stuff). as for drinking i think it more matters weather or not she drinks and get drunk when caring for the child. if she is not cooperating and you are the court and cps will notice. hang in their!! we went through a year and a half of the same stuff and my step kids mom was living with a sex offender!! and we had proof that the boys were dirty feed, and sleeping on the floor of a garage. but in the end we got full custody and she has no contact.