:jawdrop:

Okay...Here goes nothing. I have been involved with the lives of my SK since they were born. BM walked out on them when they were 3 and 5 and didn't look back for almost a year. That was 9 years ago. BM always blamed me for her and DH never marrying and for their relationship never taking off because I was DH's BFF in those days. As fate would have it DH and I married 3 years ago and this raised BM's roof (so to speak). DH is the primary cust parent and SD13 and SS11 live with us. I have two girls 7 & 11 from a previous and shortly after we married we got pregnant with one of our own who is now 2 yrs old. Up until BM found out about DH and I she would call the SK's about once a month and when she found out about DH and I she started her antics...she would pick up the kids occassionally on her court appt time and then would call us and tell us that she could not handle them and we should pick them up...when we would show up she would kick our car, call us names and out of nowhere the police would show up...way too fast for anyone to have JUST called the police (we have never threatened her, never created drama). She bought the SK's cellphones and had them hiding them from us so that they could call her to complain about me or whatever other hair climbed into their butts. Up until this point life was wonderful...until BM came back. She can go weeks without so much as talking to the SK's and even longer without getting them, in three years time she kept them over night a total of 26 nights, picked them up for partial day visits 72 times and that was it. A couple of months ago the State took her to court and ordered to pay child support which she managed to get out of having ordered previously and now that she has to pay she is hell bent to get the kids...the SK's have turned into a pair of monsters...lying, failing school, swearing, sending nasty text messages. There is an added complication to our saga...the in-laws. They are sweet people but naive. SD is the sun, moon and stars to my FIL, the man has lied, bought grades, etc to make sure the SD gets EVERYTHING she wants (if I could prove it I would have reported it to the authorities). Until DH and I got together the kids and DH lived with his parents...I mean that they have ALWAYS lived with the in-laws...it is for this reason that the in-laws feel that they can make decisions pertaining the children without consulting DH or I. This is DH's fault but we have been doing everything we can to correct this to no avail. With this being said, I would be lying if I said that the in-laws like BM because they do not but it makes me crazy that my in-laws will carry a conversation with BM. If BM doesn't want to handle the kids she will have SD call my FIL and ask him to let them stay with and instead of sending BM right back on her arse my in-laws will take the kids until they can no longer stand to have them and then turn what was to be BM's visitation right back on us. This means we can never plan to go anywhere or do anything. We've planned trips and been forced to cancel because of unexpectedly getting the SK's. I used to not mind this when the kids were still acting like kids...now that BM is paying she is making us pay by filling the SK's heads with lies. If my SD and FIL could have their way SD would live with him permanently...the problem in letting this happen is that BM has used it against us in the past that we allow the kids to practically live with my in-laws...I am stuck between a rock and hard place. Mainly because I do not want to allow DH and I to decide to do something that will come back to hurt us later. BM is requesting that we go back to court over custody of the kids...who knows what she will try to use against us. BM hasn't cared about these kids for years...suddenly she pays childsupport for a couple of months and the kids think she cares despite the fact that she stood in from of them and told them that the only reason she was picking them up was because DH is making it be this way...and yet they warship the ground she walks on and I am the monster. I am at a loss and I don't know how in the world to fix this between me and the kids.