SS had surgery and I was so wrong about BM1!
I know I don't post much about BM1 but we haven't had any altercations in years and she stopped putting me in the middle with DH about a year ago. I laughed it off when she did but still. When her DH left her, I thought she was going to bring out the crazy and I was wrong!
I'm very glad for this because I know I can't handle two BSC BMs.
DH took SS to the er last weekend over what seemed to be a spider bite. They were told there was no way it was a spider bite because he didn't see the spider bite him :jawdrop:
I took SS to see his DR at the beginning of the week and they admitted him for surgery. I stayed with him for a while, came home, picked DH up, dropped SD's off to play at my sister's for a bit and we went to see SS for the evening. We were told he was scheduled for surgery the following morning if his arm was ready.
When we left, DH was hinting around about calling BM and letting her know what was going on. Before he finished I told him, If I were in her shoes, I would want to know, same with you! It's the right thing to do. He called her and gave her a quick rundown of what was going on, I reminded him of SS's room number and they were done on the phone. DH kept thanking me for not being mad, I continuously reassured him that it was the right thing to do and if I were to be mad about it that would make me an asshole. Then he was like, I don't want to say her name but if it was the other one, I wouldn't have let her know. I was like well, that's different. She still doesn't know that her kid had staples in her head last year. She gives 0 fucks.
I called SS's room the following morning to see what they had decided, and see how he was doing, if he needed anything as I was planning to go back up there to keep him company for a bit. I let him know that DH had called BM so she might come by or call him. SS was like yeah, she's here now. That surprised me! I told SS I wouldn't bother him since his mom was there and I decided not to go up there as I didn't want to step on her toes or anything. And they don't visit very often so I figured I would leave it alone.
BM called me a bit later to let me know that SS had just gone in for surgery! I was shocked!! I thanked her for letting me know and asked if she would be up there with him for a while. She said she took the whole day off of work to be there! Then she text me when he was out of surgery in the recovery room and when he woke up! I was floored.
I don't know if it was just because of the severity of the situation or what but I hope it continues! Not us talking.. I don't need to be in the middle of that, I just thought it was really nice of her to let me know what was going on 
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Sometimes when scary stuff
Sometimes when scary stuff happens, BMs realize what is really important and stop being as whacky.
When SO had emergency surgery (his appendix burst) I let both BMs know. Shockingly, BM2, who had conflict with me FOREVER was actually very supportive. The doctors forgot to tell me he was out of surgery and it had been a few hours (now 2am in a deserted waiting room) and BM2 was reassuring and gave me ideas on who to call to find out what is going on.
She seemed genuinely worried about SO (partially because of the child support, I suppose) and was actually really nice about everything. I also think all of my support and updates (helped him facetime the skids while hospitalized, etc) made her realize I wasn't JUST some passing gf.
Who knows, maybe it could be a turning point. Also, you extended an olive branch to her on a big thing, maybe it shook her a little and she snapped out of it.
I'm glad SS was OK and well looked after
It has been 10 months since
It has been 10 months since his surgery and BM2 and I still have a good relationship. We text pictures of the skids, she includes me on emails about visitation or school things, and we can even have friendly chats at sporting events or drop offs. The surgery seemed to be a turning point
That's awesome! BM2 and I
That's awesome! BM2 and I will never have a good relationship. LOL.
SS15 told me that BM1 has let go of a lot of her animosity. BM1 has always looked at me as the OW even though DH and I didn't get together until probably 12 years after their divorce and DH had even married and divorced since then. DH had a crush on me when we were all younger and BM knew it.. I didn't, I wasn't even interested in boys. LOl. So there has always been a deep hatred there.
She won't be in contact with me that much, I know for sure. Her average on seeing her kids since I have been SM is about 4 times a year.
It was just really nice of her, she didn't have to do that... I could have called the hospital a million times but I didn't have to. I think part of it may have been when DH talked to her on the phone he told her that I made the DR appointment and took SS She was like what, she did, and he had to repeat it. Maybe she knows that I actually do care about her kids? I don't know.
This was my first thought but
This was my first thought but it wouldn't really get her anywhere. I take all SKs to the DRs for everything. I make all of the appointments, I handle all of it. And I have so many SK's, the DR's knew who I was the few times I have seen them in public.. lol
You have described BM2 though. That's another reason DH wouldn't let her know anything about SDs, she would show up and make everything about her.
Neither BM can call their kids' DR's and get any medical info on them.
Lol meth, it used to be a lot
Lol meth, it used to be a lot of meth. I figured she would go back to it when her DH left her, I was hoping not though. I know she's on a bunch of meds for various things. Maybe they finally found the right combo for her. Lol.
Our BM acted so nice to me
Our BM acted so nice to me when we were taken to the ER after our car accident. It was a show for the doctors.
Luckily, yours seemed to actually care. She would not have had to let you know what was going on at all. That's nice. Maybe she IS human. }:)