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Something in the air the other day

MJL2010's picture

Submitted by MJL2010 on Sat, 02/23/2013 - 12:03pm

made BM and I agree to drop the sh!t and try to be civil to one another.

It certainly is nice, not having the undertone of seething anger and resentment. My emotional tone toward her matches that of my ex and other people on my periphery.

I hope that I can remember that my attitude is one thing that only *I* can change- I have chosen to give so much of my power away over the last couple years. The sad part is that anger and hatred are addicting. I am grateful for this glimpse of being without those things. I will make a conscious effort to continue living without them, when and if the nonsense starts up again. (Is it possible for a blended family to exist without flare-ups every once in a while? Is it possible for a NUCLEAR family to exist without flare-ups once in a while?!)

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anabihibik's picture

Submitted by anabihibik on Sat, 02/23/2013 - 1:52pm

It does make a huge difference on stress and home life, even when it is only one sided. My situation is one sided. And, yes, I have flare ups of my anger and resentment - but in private, with another SM friend or my husband. You might check out the book No One's the Bitch (Mostly). They also have a second book coming out in the next year called Skirts at War. The first one deals with BM and SM having a good relationship, but there is stuff in there that is helpful when it is one sided. The new book deals more with how to handle high conflict stuff. Letting go of the tug of war rope and the need to be right or the tit for tat is so freeing. Not always easy Wink but worth it.