After being involved in the drama (to certainly no difference in outcomes) for years now, my DH, in an effort to put some space between us and Trashionista BM, has asked that I no longer be involved. He doesn't plan on sharing the day-to-day nonsense, the nasty texts, the ridiculous e-mails, etc. Obviously he will share things with me that affect me or my kids directly like scheduling and money.

I appreciate that this is one thing we haven't tried, that he wants to protect me and spare me the grief of being involved with this horrible beastly woman. However, the letting go is scary. In dealings with any self-respecting narcissist, the details are important and sometimes over our past he has missed little details that ended up being important. (He is so tired of dealing with her and her nonsense that he doesn't always read for detail.) That frightens me- the possibility of missing something when there are not four eyes reading, being on guard to catch whatever fast one she's trying to sneak by.

Also, as his wife, should I want or be ok with his taking the weight of this alone? Shouldn't I want to be supportive and make him feel like he's not in it alone?

Do any of you have experience with complete disengagement from all things BM? Has it worked for you? Any tips or tricks you'd like to share?

Thank you.