I'm very new to this so I'll let you all know why I joined.

I love my boyfriend, very much, and have for years, even before we got together.
I knew when we got together that he might have a son but the BM wouldn't let him get a paternity test on what we now know is his son. He tried through the state, they said he had no right to one, he tried through her, she changed her number, then a year later she files for state aid so she can quit work and gets the paternity test.
Their son is almost 2 and talks with me and the dad, just a few words, he's only been seeing him for a couple months now. The BM swears up and down the walls he doesn't talk, and he must be autistic.
He was scheduled for an eye surgery to fix his remarkably lazy eye over a year ago and she failed to show.
I try so hard to make all my decisions regarding him with respect to the way she'd want things handled, because she is his actual mother. Like I make sure to wear pajamas that are appropriate while he's here, even though when I do have my own children I don't feel I would need to be so covered. Just trying to be respectful.
I honestly believe his test results are tainted because I feel he lacks peripheral vision because of his lack of eye surgery and I feel he doesn't speak with her because she doesn't give him attention. Her first son didn't speak either until my BF started working with him on words at the age of 3.

I guess, now my BF doesn't want children because of the effect this female has put on him with his son. I don't know if this is something I should wait out, because I know I want children. I would hate to resent him because he wouldn't give me the children that I want.
I care a great deal for his son. He and I have a definite connection, and he always is excited to see me.

I guess I'm just looking for all around advice. This whole situation is a lot for me to handle.