Need more opinions
It has been awhile since I last posted. I need some help! I have been married for almost 2 years. One stepson, who just turned 15, visits every other weekend and every Friday. We live in an older farm house, which was built with a room (or nursery) built off of the master bedroom. The only access is through the master bedroom. There is another bedroom on the same floor and then there is an upper full attic area that has been drywalled, painted, carpeted and was the bedroom of my husband's oldest daughter, when she lived at home.
I feel that the stepson is WAY too old to be walking through the master bedroom, at any time that he would like, day or night. I go to bed usually around 3-4 hours before he does. It creeps me out that he opens the master bedroom door and walks past our bed, while I am sleeping, to get to his room.
I have asked that his room now be moved up to the attic area. My husband asked him if he would like to do that and the SS said "no". So, he is not moving. I told my husband that I was uncomfortable with this situation and he said "that has been his bedroom since he has been born. Why change it now?"
Am I overreacting to this and should I just let it go since it has been his bedroom since birth??????????
HELP!
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Comments
There is NO way to add an
There is NO way to add an exterior door. If I was 15 again, I would love to have the attic space. He is very, very immature for is age and as you can see, daddy lets him run the show. The show is just about to end - on my part - if things don't change. My husband thinks I am being 'mean' by having him move rooms. I am almost at my wit's end. This hasn't been the first battle that we have had!
I told him to "grow a pair"
I told him to "grow a pair" and tell his son that since the family dynamics have changed, his room will be changed. He doesn't seem to want to TELL his son anything. If I give the problem to my husband to solve - the boy will continue to stay in the room he is in............................
go to bed naked. better yet,
go to bed naked.
better yet, add this: let him walk in on you when u're having battery-operated alone time.
either that, or NO SEX for dh while he lets the master be open-access to ss and explain to him why. "dh i simply cannot function sexually without some privacy between husband and wife."
That is my problem - I do
That is my problem - I do sleep naked and I am so afraid that now since it is getting warmer out - that in the middle of the night I will through covers off of me and then he will walk in and I won't know it! I don't want to be a mean ole step mother that kicks the kid out of his room - but this is just eerie to me........
DH moved SS when I moved in.
DH moved SS when I moved in. He wanted an empty room between us. His reason, he likes sex and didn't want the kid to hear. Try some conversations like that and he may move the kid regardless. No kid comes in my room...He needs to have some boundaries.
He ASKED the kid? No, just
He ASKED the kid? No, just do it and move him.
We currently live in (for only another couple months hopefully) a 2 bedroom house with a loft area. SD9 has a little bedroom on the lower floor and SD11 is in the loft. We have to walk through part of the loft to get to our bedroom. So there's no privacy with her bed basically right outside our door.
DP was against moving for the longest time but the house is overall too small and landlords are not fixing some things so we are finally done. I told him, "We have zero privacy with SD11 there. You want her to be here MORE OFTEN during middle school?" Cannot wait until we get a three bedroom.
I am trying to see it from
I am trying to see it from his point - but I feel that I am being treated as the "outsider". I didn't want to move and live in the house that he lived in with his ex-wife and raised their family, but with the economy, it was the best option. I HATE this. I am trying not to be mean. The kid doesn't like me much anyways, but I have a real problem with this issue. My husband told me last night that I am just upset because I am not 'getting my way'. really????????????????????
I even suggested the boy move into the other bedroom that is on the second floor. Husband said "no, that has been his room since birth and he doesn't want to move." BUT his mom has moved the boy at least 7 times since their divorce and he doesn't seem to have a problem moving bedrooms with her. I guess I kinda understand that it is the only "safe and secure" place that he has known since birth.
I just feel so conflicted!
Yeah, I'd be staying
Yeah, I'd be staying somewhere else. Obviously your opinion & discomfort matter very little.