"He gets all mad at me with the typical..."whyyyyy do you carreeew." Because I do!!! Just because you don't care about a revolving door at our house I do!!! I said to him Please!! Call someone and ask them if their wives would be mad about no notice of a strange adult you've never met staying at their house??!!! Please!!! "

I've been thorugh this!! They don't understand we don't want the SS20 firends staying, it's an adult sleep-over eewww!!! WHo wants that in their house????

I had a situation where SS19 has a friend in her early 20s. The girl would come, pick him and his brother up to go out at night. She would get drunk, come back and go to sleep in one of their beds! OMG I flipped, and requested this not to happen again. Still happened. One day I explicitly asked Ss and my SO that I didn't want her pulling off her drunk stunt that night beacuse I wasn't feeling well and didn't want a stranger in my house... two hours later... SS arrives, speaks to SO, and next thing the drunk hoe is walking in my door and going to sleep off her alcohol. The next day hell broke loose and SO told me "I couldn't let her leave..." I said but I asked, bargained, begged to avoid this situation and your spawn first thing he does is the OPPOSITE!!

Sometimes I wonder, why do I even allow this in my life?

"Why do you care?"

UM BECAUSE IT'S A STRANGER! Had your SO not heard of phishing scams, pedophiles, serial killers, and just weirdos in general? This is a SAFETY issue. On top of being totally disrespectful. Ridiculous.

See THIS right here is why I refuse to live with men who are running a household like a wild animal "sanctuary" .... anything goes and when you rightfully want structure then you're not the demon with 3 heads. 
 

I left my now ex because he'd pull these same shenanigans. 
 

Rarely provide advance notice of his domestic terr0rists and/or their friends relatives or whoever coming into "our" house. 

Guess who had peace disrupted because they were loud, messy, rude, and entitled?

Then have the gall to act dumbfounded when I lost seggsual attraction 

Nope you want to run your house like some wild jungle then don't dare ask a woman (unless they like that sort of thing which most don't) to come live in that chaotic mess. 
 

if people and their kids pretend they don't understand how to respect you, your home space, and the rules of said space then they don't need to be invited into the space. 

Uh, isn't it common courtesy to let the other person who lives in the home, owns it too, helps pay the bills, know that there will be a house guest on so and so days?  I bet if YOU had brought over someone to stay a few days without talking to him about it, he'd be plenty mad.  It's likely that he is annoyed with SS as well, but he's not going to say anything to him in the name of keeping the peace.  Some husbands don't mind starting a war with their wives but want to keep the peace when it comes to their friends, relatives, kids, ex, etc.  Even a coworker or neighbor gets more consideration in some cases.  

He'll learn one day.  When you've had enough and you snap.  He'll learn that keeping the peace only starts a war within yourself and your marriage.  Hopefully he'll learn before you decide it isn't worth it and just walk away.  

Wasn't SS20 supposed to be moving out?  What happened with that?  

^See that's why me personally I will NEVER live with a man who has adult kids living with him 

HELL no 

because now these adult kids are very hard to evict, they come in and out like they own the place, then they have the audacity to bring their pets, their FWB, their illegitimate kids, etc 

Next thing you know you got a full house of "roommates" you never invited who suck up resources you should be using to retire while they kick their feet up/not paying any bills. 
 

After I saw that "adult stepkids" thread... I knew for me that I didn't not want to be obligated to anyone's spawns especially after 18 or hs graduation. 
 

Way too much hassle with low to no payoff. 

"Why do you care?"

This is my home, I pay the bills, I clean the house, I buy the items we need to live. I care because. it. is. my. home.  

He also told me that I didn't need to be there...

Oh no he bloody well did NOT. Who doesn't need to be there are SS's gaming buddies. They do not live in the house so they can get the F out. If gaming buddy can afford airfare, they can find a cheap airbnb to rent. 

He also told me that I didn't need to be there... 

No problem SO. I'll start my search for my apartment where there will be no adult sleepovers.

My spider senses are that this may be an underage person.  If that is the case... call the police and get them all hauled off to face the music.

First SS20.  SS20 is living at home? [Not out in his own apartment.]. gets it invite anyone over. [ you don't want SS20. certainly not his inter net friends] over. That you are paying four.  [food, drink]. 
'You sadly need a exit plan.  Your DH just doesn't get it.  He putting his 20 yo son above you and his future fail marrage.  One ,or I could never live that way. Being the last to know.  And being told to shut up and go with it. 

Seriously. This sort of thing could pose an actually safety issue. The utter idiocy of some people is mind-boggling.

Thankfully, DH and I are on the same page as far as SS13 goes: he is not living here after college or, if he doesn't go, after high school graduation. His attitude is, if SS fails to launch, it's the fault of Disney BM, so she can deal with it.

But this would be a deal-breaker for me. It's not just thoughtless, it's potentially dangerous.

Is whistling past the graveyard.   Not good to invite unknowns, possibly psycho maniacs, into your home trying to keep his overgrown ferals entertained!

Update? How did things go with the Internet "friend"?