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Dear FDH, there are some things I think you should know.

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#1. You think I am super gunning for marriage. Wrong-o. I feel safe here in my maiden state because I know in the back of my head that if or when you become a less than ideal partner (increasingly) I can bail, tires squealing, dogs in tow, cackling all the way.

#2. I desperately want a child with you. Incorrect. I want a child. In a few years. After the stress and trauma of raising your children has worn off. With someone. Doesn't have to be you. I could take it or leave it. *looks bored*

Mrs. Magoriums Wonder Emporium (aka BM's magical land of bullshit and make believe!)

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So sd9 finally calls BM after not having heard from her in almost 2 weeks. Hasn't seen her, called her, texted, smoke signals. Nada. So the conversation was about 5 to 7 minutes long. sd9 was very excited about the length of conversation. Apparently this is a good lengthy phone call to her. She doesn't hide during phone calls to BM which I like. We give her privacy and space but she doesn't try and hide and conspire. During the phone call BM asks if FDH is really serious about moving and leaving the state.

I hate my family today

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I got 4 hours of sleep last night. That's 9 hours in 2 days. I am EXHAUSTED. I am also stuck with the kids all weekend due to FDH working. I feel alone and stuck. sd5 came in once at 3:00 am (bad dreams blah blah blah. FDH smooths her over, go back to bed blah blah blah) sd5 comes in at 3:30am - same bullshit decides she is going to sleep on the floor next to the bed. ss3 comes in at 4:00am (daddyyyy? daddddddyyyyyyy? No response from happily sleeping FDH so he leaves) I still havent been able to go back to sleep from the 2nd time sd5 came in. ss3 getting no response leaves. door slam.

Poetic Justice

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Weds and Today FDH has had to/will get up and get skids up and off to school as I work and he is off. Weds was fantastic. I heard all of the yelling "Hurry up! Lets GOOO" from fdh as he tried to hustle the 2 under motivated ladies out the door. The screams of "YOU'RE GOING TO MISS BREAKFAST HURRY UP!" were music to my ears while I hid in bed. FINALLY he gets to see what its really all about getting everyone up and ready. Not getting to be home and being fantastic super nice daddy who is never upset or stressed. BWAHAHA ohhh yes fdh.

The rant of the child support (or rather non existent child support)

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I am fuming this evening about the child support. I am no money hungry grubbing bitch but since FDH took this new position to create more income for this family I have been full time mom practically alone. Why is this? Because BM won't pay. Doesn't feel she needs to. See in BMs world whatever care she provides for the kids when they are in her care is all she owes. She passes this bullshit on to sd9 who eats it up with a spoon. sd9 is very very empathetic and she tends to be very sensitive to peoples feelings.

Moments like these that remind you

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Tonight was incredible. My family was like a well oiled machine. I worked today and then had class afterwards. Sd's 9 & 5 stayed home with sd15 who typically is not relied on because she is mean to her sisters, half assess everything and makes more work for me. Not so tonight. I picked up ss3 from daycare at bedtime and took him home. I walk in. The house is clean and sparkly. Everyones stuff is put away for the most part! Dishes are done (no way, our families biggest point of argument is dishes) dogs have been cared for.

I have more issues with FDH than skids or BM! What gives!

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I'm ready to just blow up on fdh. This morning he kept prying to find out why I was grumpy. For WEEKS now I've been trying to get him on board with DOING something. GOING somewhere. Being a COUPLE. The helpful suggestions/nagging/bitching/comments have eluded him clearly. Sometimes that man is so dense I can't even understand it. I have tried being subtle "Hey why don't you teach me to play poker tonight?" to being not so subtle "Seriously I miss "us" and I am bored and about to SCREAM.

Sensitive topic help/suggestions

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Ok so sd9 is in 4th grade and will be 10 in a few weeks. To start wrapping up the health class for the year they put on a "Girls Talk" presentation at the high school to address - how do I put this? - becoming a woman. Mom's are supposed to attend with their daughters. I have talked NUMEROUS times to FDH about this and he has assured me that BM will not be in attendance for said production. I don't want to go. It is uncomfortable for me, weird for sd9 I'm sure (not so much me being there but the topic) and I pretty much feel like I have no preparation for addressing this topic whatsoever.

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