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2 months of hell

MiserableSM101's picture

I posted on here in the beginning of July about my fiancé getting full custody of sd4 while I was 8 months pregnant and scared about her hurting my baby.

 

its been 2 months and she is still with us full time. Her mom is now back in the picture and sees her only 1 day a week. We also welcomed our baby girl into the world at the end of July and she is perfect!!!

my situation with sd4 hasn't made any progress. She goes to therapy weekly and her behavior is still terrible. She hasn't hurt dd though which I'm grateful for. But she is very jealous of dd. She doesn't want to share her dad at all. Throws tantrums when my fiancé holds our dd and only acknowledges dd when someone is giving her attention. We've also recently found out she has been stealing stuff from myself and dd. she still screams at me every single day and says she hates me every day. Has become violent with her dad a couple times. Comes in our room screaming and waking up my daughter in the middle of the night because she wants to watch tv. Tore down our curtains and curtain rods and damaged our walls because she couldn't ride her bike because it was raining. And cut up the power cord to our tv with scissors that she snuck out of the kitchen. I'm starting to become resentful of her presence in my house. I feel like my fiancé and I can't even enjoy spending time with our daughter together because SD is always there throwing tantrums and making everyone miserable with her attitude and behavior. At this point I don't even want anyone calling her my daughters big sister. People bought my daughter outfits that day "little sis" on them and I threw them out because this little girl is on my last damn nerve. Really wish her mom would get her act together and take her back so I can enjoy spending time with my fiancé and our child. 

Comments

tog redux's picture

Has DH or BM asked the pediatrician for help with her behavior? She sounds like a troubled little girl.

nengooseus's picture

Would be working with the parents to teach them to help her, and sadly, 2 months isn't a lot of time to resolve issues.

Has she been evaluated by Developmental Pediatrics?  I think that would be my next stop...  If she's not neurotypical, that would alter what would need to be done to help her.

MiserableSM101's picture

Yes. She's been evaluated. They believe she shows signs of ADHD but they don't treat it until she is 7. 

GrudgingSM's picture

That is...beyond the pale, and the fact that you can have a newborn and write this with what feels like objectivity (or is maybe just exhaustion??) is beyond me. I get that she's 4, an age where she doesn't have a ton of control over her emotions, and she's had a rocky stretch, but...damn. I know we're in a pandemic, but if there are other ways she could be meaningfully engaged with social groups or activities or things to give you a break is, like, necessary. Or family nearby? That situation sounds impossible, and I'm sorry I don't have better advice than that.

MiserableSM101's picture

Her behavior has been going on for over a year and is only getting worse. Don't know if you read my post months back or not but she is a handleful and I'm tired of dealing with it. We put her in therapy when we got custody 2 months ago and she hasn't made any progress what so ever. She goes to preschool. I don't watch her. And when she is home my daughter and I find ways to avoid her because she just screams at me the entire time lol. 

tog redux's picture

Does she have issues with trauma? What was going on at BM's in her early years? This sounds like WAY more than ADHD.

MiserableSM101's picture

her stepdad got arrested for domestic violence against her mom but as far as we know she was never around when it happened

tog redux's picture

She's behaving like a traumatized kid, IMO. Does she still see BM?

MiserableSM101's picture

one day a week and it is supervised. but everything except for her being violent has been going on for a year and a half. And her stepdad wasn't in the picture till this February.  

MiserableSM101's picture

She gets in trouble at least once or twice a week for stealing other kids stuff or getting violent with the other kids. She's actually on the verge of getting kicked out of preschool.

CLove's picture

Sorry - thats all I got.

Try not to let the little hellion ruin what should be a very joyful time. Hopefully she gets the help she needs and develops normally. There is always hope, right????

Sparkl3s's picture

You are remarkable and I hope you take a little time for yourself. Some children are just unlikeable. Do whatever you need to do for your little one and yourself.