Mother’s Day for step moms
I'm a step mom to 2 boys 19 & 20. Their mom hasn't been in the picture for over ten years, she lost custody then moved on with someone else and had a daughter. She wouldn't recognize the boys if she walked by them somewhere that's how long. My husband raised them all alone. We were friends many years before getting involved and got married last year.
I thought by our 3rd Mother's Day together at least my husband would acknowledge me and at least say thank you for the mother role I've taken on. The boys come to me for help advice literally everything. I spend more time with them than my husband it feels like. I'm helping the one with an online course as well as helping him lose weight and get healthy. A couple years ago I gave the oldest one a job working for me for awhile. I cook, clean, always there if they need anything more than their dad and their non existent mom. The boys are awkward with emotions so I didn't expect much from them but is it too much to think my husband could have woke up this morning and said thank you for everything you do for my boys? He did recently pay off my car so I know I might sound petty I just feel really unappreciated!
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I definitely do not think it
I definitely do not think it is too much to ask your DH acknowledge everything you do for his kids.
He should show his appreciation in some way.
Thank you I know if the
Thank you I know if the situation was reversed I'd be showering him with love and affection especially on a day like today.
sometimes one just has to ask
I have the same and it wasn't until recently that I realized some men just don't think as we do and honestly don't even realize they are not showing their appreciation. Like you say maybe him paying for your car in his mind is showing his appreciation. I would sit down over your favorite meal a glass or wine/coffee one evening when he is not stressed and say how much you would appreciate it if you were appreciated and thanked from time to time (and mention the way that you want to be shown) as it will fuel you to do more. Whatever you do, don't use words like you never, always or make it sound like he is not doing enough but rather let it come from a place that you saying what you needing instead of making it what you didn't get that, that way you avoid many conflicts (trust me I am the queen on these) and if it was not for a lot of counseling and LEARNING how to talk to your DH in a way that makes them want to do it for you it will be a lost cause. Since I started doing this and mentioning how I would feel appreciated and loved by these small gestured it is so much better. Try it and let me know if it works for you. Good luck
Not everybody puts stock into
Not everybody puts stock into these holidays. DH might not even be thinking about it because after all your aren't his mom. Yes that's dense, but men often are black and white.
My DH forgot it was Mother's
My DH forgot it was Mother's day until I reminded him to call his mother. Just curious - what happens on Father's day in your household. Do the boys come up with anything on their own or are you the one organising and coordinating everything?
Love languages
I had a similar emotion once my 3 SKs moved in and I was unrecognized on Mother's Day. Actually, I almost cried. The reality is that my DH was and is bad with gifts, altho he is a generous man. He is also bad with conventional words, like Hapoy Mother's Day. However, he raised and supported my 2 kids, does everything he can for me and is more sensible, kind and giving than I am.
The kids (now in their 50's) eventually learned how to respond to holidays, still do, I heard from all 3 yesterday. My short-term fix was to do for myself. I'd buy a new outfit so I'd have something nice to wear, make sure I had a nice dinner, etc.
Happy belated Mother's Day!
My husband is not much of a
My husband is not much of a hallmark card type of guy. He didn't wish me a happy mother's day.. I don't think... but he literally tells me all the time how much he appreciates my interest and involvement with his daughters (now adults).
My OSD wished me a HMD.. but only on a call that she and her dad were had.. and we were on speaker phone.
My YSD had a nice plant arrangement and a semivulgar insulated tumbler (lol)... sent to me for mother's day. I think she sent the same to her mother.. her mom got a public post on FB... but her mom is very HC.. so that was really best anyway.. haha.
I have to be honest that I kind of feel like once the children are old enough to wish HMD for themselves.. it really isn't the place or obligation for those who are not their children to wish it. LIke I don't have to wish my OSD HMD because she is a mom.. she isn't MY mom. My DH doesn't have to wish me HMD because I'm not his mom either.. but I should obviously feel appreciated for what I do.
If these boys are teens/young adults.. they should have thought to wish OP a HMD.. she is acting in that role for them!