thankfully i dont see the bitch anymore since the last time she verbally assaulted me on our front door...she is no longer allowed anywhere near our house. so that helps taht i dont have to see her anymore. the last time i saw her was court several months ago and the mere sight of her made me sick.

it even makes me feel ill every time she calls or texts. its awful...and the whole time SD is over, im sick just wondering if, but mostly when, BM will call or text to start new drama.

grrrrrr.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

it doesnt have to be. we wouldnt have nearly as many problems w her if she didnt do all this stuff to us, just bc she was mad he is w me now and another woman is in her kid's life. if she could get over herself and put her supoosed love for SD over her hatred for me, we could all be much more cordial.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

I get an anxiety stomach rumble.

It's not the sight of her, it's the unpredicatability of what she might do. I like structure and routine and she is neither. Her presence is very unnerving to me. She can take anything I say or do wrong sending her into a tailspin that directly affects my husband.

So yes, she makes me sick...but not in the traditional sense.

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

So yes, I do see her at the store and the kids events often. Everytime I do see her, I feel queasy and anger towards her. I just hate going to events with her there "pretending" to be the perfect parent. Meanwhile, her b.s. is the reason the kids have anxiety issues and her controlling behavior only hurts the kids. They aren't allowed to bring whatever SHE buys them over to our house. Not only that but, when our paths do cross I still try to say hi, for the sake of the kids and she acts nervous, uncomfortable and usually does not respond. At least she could be the fake b#@^ch she really is in front of the kids. But no, she makes them feel uneasy when we come up to them while they are with her. It's like they are not normal and picking up on her hatred towards us.

to my stomach, luckily, I only have to see her once a year. But when I start feeling sick and think I am going to throw up, she walks in the room, or airport or where ever and when I notice that she is even bigger and uglier than the past year, I suddenly get this sense of peace. Petty I know. Seriously though, I do get sick, but for the most part, we are just civil to each other for the kids sake. Although after this summer and the things SS's had told me, I am not sure how next year will go. Maybe I will throw up on her. Ha ha ha
Making the decision to have a child is momentous~ It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside of your body~

she makes me ill like nothing I've ever experienced. Upset stomach, clammy hands, racing heartbeat, you name it. The horrible part is our kids all go to the same school. There are so many reasons I get this visceral reaction (what she has and will done, simply the person she is, etc) but I can't get over it yet.

So I hide. When she drops the kids off, I'm somewhere else. I don't go to events that I don't have to be at if she'll be there. If I do have to go, I have a book or something else to occupy any extra time. It's horrible for the kids to be a part of that drama so I avoid it at all costs.

She does, unfortunately, live very close to us, so I do, unfortunately, also have the opportunity to "bump into" her at public places like the grocery store, gas station, etc. And I totally understand the feelings that most of you guys described (well-said, Colorado Girl, that's it to a "t").

But my experience is different. Although the BM in my case causes untold and unending trouble in our lives, SHE is totally scared to death and jealous of me. So even though she still does "drive-by's" down my street because the incredible jealousy of me & DHs life just eats her up inside, when she sees me in public, her face turns ghost white and she literally will run the other way...and I just LOVE IT!

Now mind you, I have NEVER done anything to her (always taken the "high road". Always done the "right thing") but she's done PLENTY to me. So maybe she's just WAITING for me to snap or something, I don't know.

But all I do know is one time I was in the supermarket and I was just "doing my thing" and oblivious to the world, and she turned the corner of the same aisle and saw me, and I thought she literally had an accident in her pants! She couldn't back out of the aisle fast enough. It was priceless. I just smiled at her (ok, maybe a little "wickedly"), and she almost died! And I happily continued my shopping.

And now, I live for moments just like that! Because I know that without saying ANYTHING, without being a WITCH (like she's been), I've gotten to her. And I'm ok with that.

In fact, it makes me hold my head up just a little bit higher and smile just a little bit brighter when we have to walk into those school events and she's there. Because I know SHE'S the one who is feeling sick.

Karma's a bitch.

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

I would rather be hated for who I am, then loved for who I am not.

Bm lives in another state, 6 hours away, however, even when driving with my dh to go pick up ss for visitation, I become filled with anxiety. Just KNOWING we are getting closer to where the bm is geographically gets my gut churning a bit. It is very obvious to me that the anxiety I feel is due to all the drama, lies, threats, ect that we had to experience in dealing with the bm during the first 2 years dh and I were together. Though we solved those issue's by no longer communicating with her except by certified mail.It is also because though bm will not physically do the exchanges with us,(as she in her true victim role, states she is fearful of us, and so she has her brother, friends, boyfriends,essentially total strangers... actually walk ss up to dh and I) its the knowing she is sitting in the car of whomever she rode with and is watching my dh and I. We always meet inside very public locations to do the exchanges, so we tend to wait at least 5-10 minutes before taking ss and going out to our vehicle so as to give the bm time to leave. However she has on occassion waited for us to leave so she can drive by us staring, laughing and pointing like some 5 year old child.Even though I have some anxiety, I feel its well worth it knowing that bm is nothing more than a spectator to the wonderful life I have with dh now.

Well, I have a very different relationship with the BM. We get along really well. When the kids moved to college she came with us. She has come over for Christmas morning and spent time with the kids. My H has always had full custody of his kids because she left due to a prescription drug problem. The oldest son turned 21 and wanted to have her for lunch at his Grandma's house, (my husband's mom) and we all agreed she could come there as well. I have found that no matter what, this is the kids mom and always will be. I am a BM myself and my kids have a step mother and we get along as well, but only as a result of setting this up from the beginning. I think it mostly came from me making everything ok and letting it be ok for the BM to come around. She will even just walk on in now with knocking. It was weird at first but the love and respect that the Step kids have for me is amazing that I have accepted their mom. My kids step mom is a little harder because I have had a rough time with my ex and she always wants to defend him even when he is wrong but, this can work guys. My husband loves me, not her. He is married to me, not her. No matter what happens we are living our lives as one and doing the best for our kids, harmony....it is hard work but so worth it in the end.