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mother in law driving me insane

melis070179's picture

So my mother in law is a real piece of work...she always emails me & often has something bad to say about BM (they live in the same town, we are out of state) and always tells me how much she loves me & how glad she is my husband has me in his life yada yada...well there was some nasty emails going back & forth between BM and me because I emailed her to tell her to let SS know his bday present was on its way, but will probably be a couple days late thru the mail. She has a nasty comment back about it being late. So we are emailing back & forth & she makes a comment about how great her relationship is with my husbands mom & his grandparents, so of course I felt the need to let her know that mother in law talks bad about her to me all the time & say she's only nice to her so she doesnt give her a hard time seeing SS, she then goes on to tell me how MIL always talks bad about me to her, telling her I once hit my kid for taking cheese off his pizza (flat out lie) and that once I went to go get food for me & my son & didn't even ask SS if he wanted anything (another lie). MIL even asked BM to come & stop our wedding last year. Even though considering the source (who by this point is actually being nice in her emails) we realize that MIL is talking bad about both of us to the other & thriving off the drama. My husband doesnt believe the BM, so I email MIL & confront her. She apologizes if she ever said anything to hurt either one of us, then just kinda blows it off. I ask why she said the thing about stopping the wedding, she says she doesnt remember saying that. Yeah right. She is usually doped up on pain pills (she has multiple health issues) but that cannot be her excuse for everything. So that was all 2 weeks ago & I havent responded to any of her emails since. Now we get a phone call saying she is coming to visit, if thats ok, to see our new baby that she hasnt met yet. Great, can't wait. My hubby will be off at work all day & I get to be home with her. I told my hubby I was not going to act all friendly & fake after what she pulled, I wouldnt be rude but not going out of my way AT ALL for her (she's very high maintenance when she's here) He thinks I should just let it go & go back to normal, forgive & forget. Any advice?

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tyra's picture

My MIL is also a piece of work. She has become close friends with my DH ex's. His ex has caused so much grief in our lives...starting with an affiar with her best friends husband. MIL says it is for the SD but she had access to her through us as well as access to our two kids. She has choosen to give up her relationship with my DH, me and our kids.

It is an awful situation. SD tells me how close her mom and MIL have become. All I can say "isn't that nice". We have not heard from her in 2 months. My daughters first birthday came and we choose not to invite her.

I did tell MIL how i felt about her sneaking around behind my DH back. Her response was she wasn't picking side....this woman nearly push my husband over the edge and has tried to finacially rape him repeatedly. It hasn't stopped for the last six years and she won't stand behind her son.

That all being said...do I want this in my life. Absolutely not!!! If I could have a good relaionship wiht MIL I would want. If you can find away to not get walked over and accept things for the way they are and still be happy then try that.

It is tough and it will be tougher if you have a bad relationship with yur husbands mom.