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Help me please!

Melanie2000's picture

I have four step children and there is one I just can't seem to grow a relationship with. I have been his primary caregiver since he was 2. My husband works a lot and his BM spends an average of 1 day a week with him. I have been his primary parent for 5 years and I feel like he hates me 90% of the time. It has gotten to the point were I feel emotionally abused by this child and don't know what to do to make it better. My husband and I have a great relationship but the one thing that we struggle with it is communicating about our kids (mainly his). I have gone through many issues with my SS without any support and usually I end up giving up because I end up being the bad guy. At this point I require nothing from this child other then what his Dad asks me too. I have dropped all chore duties in the house and no longer require him to clean his room for fear of being accused of "constantly pushing him". I don't think this is healthy but I don't know what else to do. I don't want to loose my husband and family because of one person, one situation. Please, anyone who may have some experience or advice, please help!

Comments

Ommy's picture

Honestly if I were you I would disengage. In your case I would only do the bare minimum. Only cook dinner, if he wants a snack he has to hands, dont help with homework, if he doesnt put his dirty clothes in the hamper his father can teach him how to wash clothes or do them for his son. Also I wouldnt provide him with ANY rides to anything extra, i.e. a friends house, sports, nothing. Most if not all schools have a bus that can get him there and back home.

You have to save yourself from being taken advantage of. If an adult behaves this way towards us we no longer associate with them, why should a step parent be forced to think that a step kid walks on water when they dont. He is old enough to know right from wrong. My FDH's 5 year old knows how to treat people with respect.

patygirl's picture

I would consider having a the psych evaluation done, he may have autism or another emotional problem. Is he having problems at school?

Melanie2000's picture

Well he does well in school. It's like he is to lazy to care. I know he has some self worth issues due mostly to his BM. His parents divorced when he was 1. He never had the lovey Mom a boy needs in their early years. And he never wanted the love from me because she is in his life enough to cause him not to accept me.