YES...Daddy's girl/Mini Wife OH MY GOSH and I thought I was about to loose my mind. I was surfing the web in search for information on my situation and I am so very happy I found this site. I am a private person and I know a married couple should keep family and friends out of their problems but I felt isolated. I knew what I was feeling was not the behavior of a bad mother or wife. I know what it is like to raise a child from age 4 alone after the father decides one day he has to walk out on us because God has work for him to do. Can I say CRAZY!!!!!!!(A TOTALLY DIFFERENT CONVERSATION)So finding this site has helped me cope and realize I am not alone. I am a good woman and I have had DH back and because he has been in so many failed relationships in the past and made a total of 3 girls, whom he has been a great father to. He is truly a man whom has made poor decisions with whom he dated, laid with and conceived girls with females whom thought they were going to be the MRS by giving birth to his child in hopes that that child would be a BOY! God blessed his wife to be the one to give birth to his son!!!!! So yes, DH is from a "very" family oriented family and the men are very active in their neices and nephews life. So DH naturally cares for his 3 girls as a mother would. Yes the SD mother was let off the hook when she was with him because she obviously took it for granted and was out partying while he was at home being a father and mother to their child. SD is the one daughter that has ever lived in the same home and there was an active relationship when she was born unlike the other 2 BM. DH was never married to either of the girl's mothers. DH feels he knows what is best and I guess my approach hasn't been great because this is new to me. I accepted him and his girls as a package but I don't want to feel as if I can not speak my mind when it comes to the youngest girl only because he has a different relationship with her. I appreciate all the advice and sharing your experiences with me. I have talked to his bestfriend and he wanted to talk to him but I told him not to. DH's friend knew the BM of the 4SD. DH's BF told me he has a loyalty to me because I am the wife and he knows how different our love is based on what DH shared with him. Right now I am very quite and selective as to what I say because I feel me revealing how I didn't want 4SD coming over every other weekend without notice. He doesn't understand that it's not that I don't mind her coming, I just don't want the reason for her coming is because SD TELLS him she wants to come. To me if SD primarily is the one whom always asks then she feels that whatever she wants, daddy will deliver. In the beginning he use to tell her they were going to my house because he still had his place but was not staying there. We were actually living there but it was almost as to her we lived seperate homes. I asked back then why he did that and his reason was because if he says his place, she thinks he's talking about the apartment. Then in my mind clarify it with her since we were engaged so there wouldn't be any confusion but he knows best and I don't. There has been plenty of things DH has held off telling his girls that I feel he should've have communicated with them. For example when we became engaged, he didn't tell them when we had them in an age appropriate conversation, when I became pregnant with our son, he didn't sit them down and tell them. I was very uncomfortable about that since I explained it to my Bio daughter whom lives with us. I felt they needed to know I was pregnant just out of respect when at the time we were engaged but not officially married. I believe girls need to know that having babies out of wedlock is not "the way" but be reasured that we loved each other and we were getting married. At that time DH oldest daughter was 12. She really needed to know, hell....all of them needed to be informed age appropriately. Once again, DH felt I had an issue with the oldest SD because I felt uncomfortable being around her and wasn't sure what she knew, all I knew I was getting bigger by the day but when I would say something to him he would say I will tell them when I feel is the right time. Well hell, when was the right time for him? So let's say we had an arguement about that because I felt he owed it to them to be the one to tell them, not constantly enlargement of my baby bump! So as you can see, DH can be stubborn as hell and sometimes wears it as a badge of honor, which I hate. I love him with everything in me and he is such a good man however when it comes to topics about SD or anything remotely regarding an issue regarding them, I am the one with an issue with them. DH never see himself as the problem because in his own words, this isn't his first rodeo. (Translation he has it down packed based on the number of kids he has helped raise.) DH has said in the past that a lot of times he is wrong but can not let me win. He honestly looks at it that way. We are not in competition as parents. I don't care if my bio daughter gets mad because I disciplined her. I am her mother, not her friend. She will not live in my home and be a disrespectful, rude, sassy, lazy, hot in the pants, nasty child because I would be doing her a disjustice when she becomes a woman when nasty qualities. The same for our son. No competition here....I am thankful I have a man that is willing to be there and give 110% of himself as a father, but there will be boundaries for him set by me, his mother even if DH thinks otherwise. I can't express it enough, I give so much of myself and I am stressed. We are not suppose to be at odds about raising outside kids regardless if they are his. Oh, I must mention this. The night we returned back from picking up my 2 bio kids from my mother, we picked up 4SD. DH doesn't see anything wrong with that. His explanation was just as you wanted to see our son, I wanted to see her. I said NO, she doesn't live with us so there was no reason she should've been picked up that night...perhaps the next day...he could've even gone to see her that night but NEVER should she have came home with us. I do understand we have a blended family now and yes he is being a great father to my bio daughter but his girls have their mother whom they live with and are influenced by them greatly. However when it comes to the all SD coming to visit, I feel it is only out of respect to run it by me the WIFE, not BM and it needs to be said how many days they plan to stay. At the end of that stay, they need to go home. Plain and simple however if for some reason they don't go home it needs to be ran by me. If I can get this through to DH head and he start seeing I am not a confrontational woman but he's making me this way with his ways.