You are here

SD 5 years of Disrespect.....I am done.....

martha sundholm's picture

Submitted by martha sundholm on Fri, 08/30/2013 - 1:13pm

This is my first time doing this. but I need advice. I have been in a live in relationship with my fiance 4 years. We each have 3 children and for the most part, I feel like we can work out any disagreements. Five of the children live with us. The oldest has chosen to live with his ex. Thus excluding herself from the household. Over the past 5 years the level of disrespect toward me is horrible. I am ignored at every family gathering, she is rude to my family ( sisters, nieces. etc) This past weekend on a family trip to San Francisco it was taken to another level. My sister does not ever want her in her house ever again. I have gone above and beyond, trying to make a connection with her. I do not even feel comfortable in my own home. I will not accept this behavior anymore. She is 20yrs old . I do not want her using me and my house so she can have a place to crash with her new boyfriend. She will not talk about it. She is @ my house now. It is now affecting my job. Please help... do I just walk away from a 5 year relationship. Breaking the hearts of our other 5 children...? I do not want to do this anymore....

Comments

Onefootout's picture

Submitted by Onefootout on Fri, 08/30/2013 - 1:22pm

Sorry you are dealing with this. A lot of it depends on your FH. Unfortunately there's not much you can do. You've already tried with her.

You could try to tell your FH exactly what you wrote in your blog. I know that it wasn't until my SO saw the apartment lease on the bed that he decided he could make some changes. At the time I really thought I was going to leave him.
You don't have to put up with this. Tell your DH how you feel. And if he reacts negatively come back on here and post about it.

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Fri, 08/30/2013 - 1:25pm

You don't mention anything about your DH? Is he condoning/facilitating her behavior? If she lives with her mother, why is a 20 year old allowed to have free reign of your house for sleep overs with her boyfriend? Why is your DH not putting a stop to this? What did she do at your sister's that caused such a reaction?

StepX2's picture

Submitted by StepX2 on Fri, 08/30/2013 - 1:37pm

Is your fiance supportive of your feelings? If so, you can work through a lot but if your fiance allows his daughter to treat you and others disrespectful, then yes I would get out now.

HungryEyes's picture

Submitted by HungryEyes on Fri, 08/30/2013 - 2:59pm

Is your user name your real name? If so, please change it or someone will find you for sure with a simple google search.

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Fri, 08/30/2013 - 3:18pm

Why is the 20yr old included on family outings to visit your family? This SD does not live with you and her father, is not a minor and should not be considered a necessary weekly/EOW visitor in your home.

No, she or she and her BF do not get to crash in your home. No, not even this 20yr old adult supposedly grown up woman. If she can not or will not behave in your home, she doesn't need to come over at all. If DH wants to see his obnoxious woman brat child he can visit with her elsewhere and spare you and the rest of the household.