So I posted a blog about how I was leaving and I am woman hear me roar type stuff and I am still in this crazy relationship. I called around to get a place and um...well my credit isnt amazing so I need to get that straightened and also I love him f*** I hate that part. Well yesterday was mediation for custody. Right now we have the boys full time and she only gets one hour every other week supervised. She now wants joint custody and no supervision. I thought that was bonkers. She is crazy if she thinks she is getting right.

If anyone has read my other blogs you will know I have decided to leave. I am looking for a new place to live. Over the weekend I told the sskids that their father wanted them to go with their grandmother to church if his sister gave her a ride. If she was taking the bus do not go with her. I explained this to them. My second to oldest ss called and was asking if she was going to church. I said no ss ask her if she is getting a ride. My oldest ss said to me WOW You really want us out of here. I was soo upset by that comment I had to leave the room.

I have thought about leaving before but I always end up staying because I really love our family.But I am getting to the point where my relationship is really non existent and my relationship with the kids is the only thing thats good. I feel like he doesnt care if I am in or out. I dont feel appreciated or loved anymore. I dont think I am a priority and ya know what I shouldnt just be a priority I think I should be top notch number 1 priority. We had trouble with his oldest son in the beginning but lately he has been great.

So yesterday we found out that BM wants spousal support and join custody. She has supervised visits right now because the kids were taken away when she gave birth to the youngest because he had meth in his system!! She was doing drugs while pregnant!! So she wrote this whole long statement about how its all my SO's fault she did drugs and cannot support herself. She said he gave her no possible way of getting mechanical skills to get a higher pay check. My SO put her into massage therapy school and his sister cosigned her school loan.