So DH and I agreed to go by the child's scheduled visitation. 

Last night Ss14 called DH to see if he could go to an all weekend thing and he  told ss that he could only if mom switches weekends. She said no. I asked DH several times during the evening f he would change his mind under specific circumstances. He said he wouldn't that SS was going to be with us over the weekend.

Today he comes home and tells me he reached a compromise with BM and he took Monday off to spend with his son who will be attending his weekend thing after all.

In the past 12 weeks SS8 Has been with us 10 weekends. Out of the ten weekends 8 of them he was sick or injured.

Weekend1-3 black eye due to falling(2nd black eye in 7 months ). New scrapes and bruises on legs back arms. From school according to BM.

Weekend 5 ( had weekend 4 off) came with 3 staples in his head. Fell off a swing at school on Tuesday( tuesday was the coldest day of the year and school was not in session for ANYONE. The whole week was icy enough to not let kids outside)

So yesterday DH and I had our third blowout this month. The reason? He keeps making decisions with me( after all sorts of time spent arguing) then turns around and does the opposite. When confronted he tells me i dictated the decision he made and circumstances changed. These decision changes always happen when BM1 makes him feel bad about not doing anything as a father.

Examples:

A bit of background:

Bm1 is very high conflict. She has a golden uterus complext that for the past 12 ys has been fueled by DMIL with money and gifts. Cs for SS12 has always been spent on booze for BM. IMO she has neglected, pasd and isolated SS12 his whole life.( plenty of other posts). She has told ss she wants to keep him a baby forever and has discouraged healthy growing behaviors manipulatively.