Well, if you keep a private journal you won't get to laugh at all the funny stories others post. A 16 year old girl who secretly hoards her own father's boxer shorts? Where can you get comedy like that anywhere else?! Laughter...it's the best medicine...especially for steplife!

1. DW is the one who wishes to be "poly", I do not as I know it will hasten the inevitable demise.

Maybe I'm confused? So you are saying that you KNOW this relationship is not going to work long term, but you're going to stick it out until/if/when she leaves?

Sorry, I'm apparently late to the party since it appears you've posted before and didn't like the responses you got.. so maybe you've already been over this.. but this is the first I am reading of your story.

I think you feel this site is not for you because any time someone comes to our board (often women) and they clearly have zero respect for themselves or their future, we do our best to straighten them out for their own benefit and the benefit of their biological children. It's not in many of our nature to be mean or hateful, but the real issue is that we see you falling trap to a miserable life and it's hard for us to understand wanting that life when some of us know how good it can actually be to be loved completely in a healthy relationship.

I would ask that you be a martyr for yourself not just your son. Not, woe is me because I'm giving all I can to my son to prove that I'm a man and good father. You should stand up and say 'No. This is not the life I signed up for. I will not waste it away with a woman who cares for me so little and instead I'll start new with the world at my feet.'

Now, knowing that advice will fall on deaf ears because you've decided it's more manly to be what you consider a good father, and what I frankly consider to be a doormat. Your son will see that the wife should always win and whatever wife says should go. He won't see the father that stood up for himself and fought the good fight. He'll see the man who stuck his head deeply in the sand and waited for the storm to pass. A storm that will leave him broke and broken.

These words come from want to help you see the error that you're making but again out of support. That's step talk. It's tough love. But it's love.

Surely I cannot be the only one in the world who has a blended family where the spouse "looks the other way" so that the family unit is not destroyed.
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I would say that 90 percent of the women on this site are looking the other way in their marriage. But are too afraid to leave but are GREAT at advising others "run"

FTR...I think you are doing it correctly. As long as the boy does not see that your wife is basically sleeping around with other people. You could not believe what some of these womens kids see and put up with, yet they still stay.

And the people that are PMing you rude pms are idiots.

I don't necessarily have a "traditional marriage" myself, and no longer post that much about that side of my marriage. I try to keep things on here skid related or more typical issues. I keep a private journal, and see a therapist for the less traditional issues I may need help dealing with.

The question I ask myself regarding my marriage is "Do I enjoy spending time with this person even when the kids aren't around?" For me the answer is yes. My DH and I do get along well, but we are not openly affectionate like we used to be. I feel bad that our children don't get to witness parents who are more openly loving, but we don't fight and they adore both of us.

Like you, I am not about to leave my marriage just because it is not "perfect". I used to be terrified that my husband would fall in love with another woman based on some of the experiences we had in the past. I'm no longer worried about that. I no longer take part in things we used to do although I don't regret past actions. I also feel that if my husband wants to break up our family over sex or a prettier woman, then I'll worry about things then. I know I'll be ok, and my children will never starve or lack the basics. I've told this to my DH. It seems since then, he has lost interest in other potential women, and he has said that no other woman would be worth leaving our family for. He finally admits that what we have as a whole is a lot more worthwhile than just sex. I don't want to go into details, but I'm sure it's a bit obvious what I'm writing. Some people might remember my past blogs.

OP, I'm sure it's a matter of finding the right combination of things to help you deal with and accept your life. Enjoy your son. Maybe blogging your blended issues here and writing a journal or finding a poly site might help. Many years ago I found a yahoo board that was for the non-poly partner in relationships like yours. People are very judgmental no matter where you post, but nobody knows the full story from simple posts.

Well, steplife is hard. Your skids are older than your little guy and they will see what mom is up to one way or the other and they will have feelings about it, feelings you may not be able to predict. So then you're going to have your step problems flare up again. And it would be a shame if you kept yourself in self-exile from a place that really understands.

So please come back when you're ready and just remember to follow Monkey's advice: ignore people who do not contribute to your quality of life. Did you know you can even delete those comments you dislike? It's a controversial practice but who cares? It's the internet. You can stake out your own patch and put up all the barbed wire you want and just let in the cowboys who you want around your campfire.

BTW, I could care less about the actual definition of Polyamory or Polyarmory or Pollyamour. Who could possibly care. Your marriage is dead but on autopilot. You were doing too much for your skids. You have big worries concerning your family life especially as it relates to your little one. You've made a decision to let your wife have a long leash. So what? It's working for you today. Tomorrow you may regret it. JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER HUMAN WHO HAS EVER LIVED. One way or another steps are going to be a part of your life forever as your child has half-siblings which is permanent ink spelling STEP. So come back when you're ready and ignore any comments that don't work for you.

ETA: The 3 Ps. One is when a lot of people love each other. One is when the armed forces build a munitions warehouse out of synthetic fabric. And the third is all about the adoration of Polly.

Marriage is hard and when you add step life to it as well then it really becomes hard. I don't really see what your wife is doing is going to help the marriage but who knows only time will tell.

Quick question for you is don't you miss sex? it sounds like a long time since you have had it and that such a beautiful part of life to just give up on.