Texting, we prefer in writing... For obvious reasons since her nickname is Psycho...

We limit it to ONLY about the skids. No phone calls if she changes the subject, none of that.

I did ask for it to be limited when she kept trying to call with sob-stories. She hasn't tried to contact him in a month now, prior to that it was some useless babble about her wanting the washer and dryer that we got rid of because they aren't hers and how she wanted to change the Christmas schedule because she's taking them out of town and it's not fair for her to have to return on Christmas "just to see him."

I never, ever had to tell my DH that he needed to communicate with his EX less.  He was just as aggravated by her communication as I was (it almost always was to do with money or stuff she wanted him to provide).

I would have been upset if the communication was greatly impairing my time with my husband.. like he is getting 10 texts while we are out to eat from her.  I would have been upset if the communication was excessively non-kid related.

But, it never was.  It really depends on circumstances.  I can see parents that have frequent exchanges might have more frequent communication.  If the child is having some crisis or problem.. more frequent.  It might even be daily checking on status of homework or health.  I would say that my DH mostly had weekly or less frequent contact with his EX.  Occasionally she would pepper him... but I never was ever threatened by it.  THe cause of the communication was more upseting usually vs the call or text itself.

OP what are YOUR experiences with the x in your home?

My H use to communicate with his kids mothers by phone and for the most part it was mainly about when he can pick them off, drop them off, address any issues with the child (basically anything to do with their wellbeing). Once the kids were older and were able to call and communicate on their own, talks with the BM were very rare.

It was fine for the most part and the way he approached it also limited leaving any doors open for drama and manipulation.

I actualy talked to mh DH ex wife. He never did and never wanted to so i did. We got along for the most part. 

We don't talk to my skids' mom much, but when we do, it is usually a combination of texting and phone calls.  She is not high-conflict anymore.  (The kids are 17 and 19 and truly don't need us to communicate for them anymore).  

We just got slammed with child support, but previously, when she had a boyfriend and they had a lot of drama, there was texting about "the idiot" (her boyfriend who is now homeless with his teeth plate missing) , much non kid related stuff about their relationship. Now its mainly about kiddo, and drop offs since we live so darn close. And recently it was about the child support whereby ToxicTroll was threatening him. 

I went nuclear on dh a while back about how bm would communicate about all kinds of stuff. About stupid crap that was non ss related - he told me he couldn't stop her... True...but it doesn't mean he needs to reply... I told him that once while he was on the phone with her... And despite him telling her not to call about other stuff, it took her hearing it from me for her to actually stop.

He didn't buy into my theory that she was trying to stay relevant in his life, until we went away for the weekend. I told him she'd find a way to butt into out weekend somehiw... Nah he says... Lo and behold... She made it to the Sunday before calling to say her sister was in the hospital...she wanted to know if he was picking up ss on the Tuesday, at school, because she wouldn't be able to.

He "got it" when i pointed out she could have / should have waited until monday night or tuesday to confirm... Because we both know she's too stupid to understand that dh always picks up ss at school on tuesdays...and that it wasn't even an issue that she couldn't, because   if he can't, i do.

In other words, he understood she was just calling to call...because it's 100% irrelevant to dh that her sister was in the hospital.

They can communicate all day every day about ss for all i care... But i draw the line at her communicating to vent, cinfide, or other things that would be inappropriate from any other female. Took him a long time to understand that.

Despises his ex wife, they only ever text or email.  Never a phone coversation and no one gets out of the car during pick up and drops. I am also copied in on some emails.  But usually DH tells me about all communication which, is typically only about date or time changes. Other than an email this week about SD wanting to see us less.

i talk to my ex husband way more and it isn’t all about our son (who he barely sees and has no custody of) my ex husband is very messed up alcoholic and addict, and sometimes I get caught up in talking to him.  My DH does not care one bit and I tell him about our conversations.. even him Saying to come back to him last week.