Once again thanks ya'll for your advice, support, and insight. Ya'll really said somethings that may have been hard to stomach, but I am not so ignorant as to disregard well intentioned advice just because I would rather not deal in truths.

I had a wonderful poster recommended a site with Dr. Irene. It specializes in abusive relationships, and more importantly co-dependency. I did a lot of reading and it seems I may have a long road of self changes a comin! By becoming a healthier version of myself, hopefully this will translate into my relationships.

As it sits right now, dh still has not changed his fb password (sigh), but.... He has since read my words and perhaps it struck some sort of chord? He has been bringing me flowers, running MY baths, and shockingly at his show on Saturday he dedicated a song to me and told me he loved me... These may only be small steps into him recovering his marriage, but I'm sure glad something is being made.

It isn't all turnips and roses, I was horribly uncomfortable because his ex-mistress sent her best girl friend to intimidate me at my dh show. The skillet face posted a bunch of crap on fb about how my husband destroyed her, she was nothing without him. She loved him. She drives by our home and wishes it were hers. Blah blah blah. Embarrassing to say the least. Pathetic to say the most.

My dh still is cycling his anger, but I'm holding strong in my voice demanding he treat me better. He gets pissy, but I'm trying like heck to gain some respect for myself. I want the best possible marriage. I want the best for me, I want my sd to be happy. My dh can worry about getting his own happy for now! I know that the changes I'm trying to male in myself, and demand from him will be a long road.

Once again, I wanted to say thank you to my fellow s-talkers. I hope that you know that ya'll have impact behind your words, and for me it goes beyond looking for just a place to rant. I appreciate the degrees of advice; sometimes it takes someone standing away from the picture to see the whole thing...

Tonight I have some peace. I wish ya'll the same! Hugs!