SS whining and crying...
SS cried last night for like a half-hour. Over what? Because my son is also here. "What's HE doing heeeereeee?" *whine* *cry* *sob* - acting like the world is coming to an end.
This morning he was thrilled to see that my son was already gone (to an early morning hunting class) and made no effort to hide his excitement.
OMG I can't stand this kid.
I can't look at him.
The sound of his voice irritates the fuck out of me.
I can't even bring myself to talk to him or to be in the same room with him.
Every.fucking. time. he comes here there is some huge bullshit drama - the whining and crying and pissing and moaning; he breaks something; steals something; throws a fit about something; or has a total meltdown about something. The only time the kid acts "normal" is when he has his father allllllll to himself. I know this because when I am in the basement, I can hear them through the floorboards and he, for the most part, stops acting like a turd.
I don't know what's wrong with this kid that he's always go to be so fucking annoying, but seriously, I can't deal with him. I just want nothing to do with him.
A part of me knows that I shouldn't let him "win" by allowing him to "chase" me out of my own home. I mean, it's bullshit that the only way we can have a semi-calm atmosphere in our home when he visits, is if there is no one else around him while he spends time with his father, but the other part of me just really wants nothing to with him so much that I consider disappearing to be the better option. The kid literally gives me a sick feeling in my stomach just to look at him or to hear his voice.
I think I have PTSD when it comes to being around this kid. He has caused so much massive destruction and drama, that even knowing he is coming over puts me on pins and needles. Then, when he's here, I am on edge waiting for him to pull his next stupid ass bullshit stunt.
He is the most annoying person I have ever met. Always a fucking problem... always. He can't just be... nice. Or easy to be around. He's always got to be an asshole.
So I have currently "locked" myself in the basement with all of my craft stuff.
Right now I can hear him through the floorboards and he's just sneezed about 5 times. I know from experience that he does NOT cover his mouth when he sneezes or coughs. He just lets it all fly out - literally. So whatever was in front if him when he was sneezing just got covered with snot and spit. On his last visit he sneezed crud all over the refrigerator. Yup. Awesome. :sick:
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OMG, i am so sorry. he sounds
OMG, i am so sorry. he sounds a lot like sd20. i never thought about ptsd, but i definitely have something going on where she's concerned. almost 8 years of nothing but insane bullshit out of her is why. i feel the same way you do. can't stand her face, her nerve grating voice, can't even stand to hear someone say her name. she likes to accuse me of holding grudges. actually what it is, is that i don't just forgive and forget every awful thing she has done. i have booted her from my life because i don't like to be around toxic people. she can call it holding a grudge. that's much easier for her than taking responsibility for her words and actions. what i'm doing is protecting myself. i respect myself way too much to allow her in when i know exactly what the cost of that would be. it amazes me how she manages to convince herself that i'm an asshole for not putting up with her shit, and not giving her another chance to shit on me.
i've locked myself away when she is here, too. i hate being near her THAT much. i'm hoping i have to work every single weekend in december because i don't want to have to see her for Christmas. THAT is bad.
I'm choosing to not spend
I'm choosing to not spend time with my H over Thanksgiving because he intends on having both of the skids for 5 days. I'm going to go spend as many of those days with my dad and (step)-mom out at their lake house with them. I'm going to help my (step)-mom prepare and cook everything. It'll be great to spend that time with her.
Spend 5 days with BOTH of the skids? Not likely. I would probably have a stroke.
Exactly. He was crying
Exactly. He was crying because my son was here too. He doesn't want my son to be here - ever. I think he feels jealous when my son is here because then that means his dad is spending time with him too? I'm sure that's it because the kid just becomes so very, very, very nasty to other people when he feels that he has to "fight" for his dads attention. Mind, "fighting" for dads attention begins when someone even so much as TALKS to his dad. My H and I try to have a simple conversation while SS is here and SS turns into Douche Bag of the Year.
Honestly, there is a part of me that feels sorry for him. I really do. A little at least. Things at his moms and with his step-dad must not be all that great if he is so starved for attention. But I'm over worrying about how things are at his moms. I'm over trying to get these kids help. I'm over it.
My help is not wanted and has been rejected at every turn. So fuck it.
I'm sure SS would be way worse than he already is if my son were living here full time.
Well, I've successfully avoided the kid all weekend. Unfortunately, I had to look at him this morning for, like, a full minute or so when he poked his head into our bedroom early morning. My H and I were laying in bed talking about the local news. SS started sniffling, whining, and pouting because dad wasn't immediately available and stomped back to his room. Then, about a minute later when he went into the bathroom (after lurking outside our bedroom door for a minute or so), I made a bee-line for the basement. I had to listen to him talking and whining (because he can't ever just be... "normal") through the floor, but at least I didn't have to look at him. After two hours, I left to go get my son from his class, by the time I got home SS and H were gone to go to some Halloween thing, from there H will take him back to his mothers.
I just took myself a long, nice nap. Tonight is a new episode of The Walking Dead and then it's back to the grind tomorrow.
H finally made a schedule for the remainder of the year. Looks like neither of the step-brats will be back until November 16th and then it will be SD not SS.
Oh I have had my
Oh I have had my moments...
Which is another reason why I just decide to disappear. This kid puts my blood pressure through the roof. It's not like I have blood pressure issues normally, but when this kid is around, I can feel my blood pressure get out of control. Then I end up with a headache. THEN by the time he starts his crap - I'm ready to lose my own shit.
PTSD for sure. I think we all
PTSD for sure. I think we all have it. Loved a previous poster telling her counsellor that telling a SM she knew what she's getting herself into is like telling soldiers they're not allowed to have PTSD because they knew what they were getting in to before joining the military!
OMG I love people who say,
OMG I love people who say, "You knew what you were getting into when you married him. You KNEW he had kids."
You know what? Yeah, some of this I expected. Most of it I did not. I don't know what I thought would be different, but how can someone fully anticipate EVERYTHING?????
As far as hiding away in your
As far as hiding away in your own house, I saw a great line here on ST once, "I'm not giving up, I'm removing myself from the situation". Love it!
Reminds me of the time I was
Reminds me of the time I was out shopping with my own granddaughter who was 4 years old at the time. This granddaughter spent several days a week at our home because she has CP and I did physical therapy with her in my home.
DH called to say he was in the area where his own granddaughter lived and was picking her up. We decided to both meet at a buffet with the 4 year olds. Lunch was a disaster. His grandchild refused to eat anything and pouted from the time she saw me get out of my car. DH said once she was back in his car and driving home she was completely different.
Due to past problems, I had backed away from the responsibility of being the " activities director" for his grandchildren. Many men of DH's generation have always left the family gatherings, parties,social events up to the woman of the house. If she does not do it, he does not bother.
In this situation, since the child's mom had not come to visit us for a couple years we were strangers. DH was grandpa but only an occassional visitor in her life several times a year when he went there.
I could see it from her view. She did not know me. She did not know my granddaughter. This was supposed to be her time with this grandpa charactor and instead she ends up just being one of the crowd. I never felt it was her fault. She was 4. At that age she did not have the ability to express her feelings. She probably did not understand everything she felt. I am sure she thought what your ss said. What are they doing here when this was our time. Did anyone let him know plans were changed?
"...tries to be MOTY but
"...tries to be MOTY but can't seem to understand Parenting 101" - HAHAHAHAHAH!!!! This is so true. It drives me nuts when bioparents try to do things that they think make them 'look' like good parents to their kids, yet EVERYONE knows their total idiots! And each time they go out of their way - meaning 'I want everyone to see me walking my kids to school but prancing in an outfit not matching the weather whatsoever in order to flirt with schoolyard opposite-sex parents' - just makes them look so much more like a crappy parent. I think these people literally believe others will praise them for their MOTY or FOTY efforts, yet they SUCK! And it's so noticeable. - "Parenting 101: A manual for those that should have been sterilized."
Oh you're preaching to the
Oh you're preaching to the choir here honey. SD14 drives me insane. I feel the same way you do. Don't want to let her 'win' by chasing me out of my own home but don't want to be around her ever either!!!
AND we just moved into a smaller apartment where SD doesn't have her own room anymore. Now that she's coming around again for visits, I'm MISERABLE.
Hang in there woman. Can't say things get better, but I hope they don't get worse!
I used to hang out in my room
I used to hang out in my room and the basement all the time to stay away from ss14. Heck we even installed keyless entry locks on our doors so he could not just enter ( he liked to steal people's underwear)- but that little azz had like a radar for whenever someone left the door open as he would come down there anyway over and over again- even after being told 100 times he was not allowed to- even though his dad was not down there-even though there was not a freaking thing down there for him or that had anything to do with him. It was a battle with me as we'll- as I felt in part I was hiding- so I would have days were I made sure I sat right up in the living room watching what I wanted on tv, shooing him out of the kitchen every time he entered, etc- however I just did not have the stamina to do that on a daily basis and would have to retreat to my safe place sometimes for days.
PTSD? Most definitely. I did some emdr therapy regarding ss and now I find that he evokes little emotional reaction in me. It doesn't bother me to hear his name. I just don't much care. He mouthed off to me on Facebook the other day and my reaction was mostly just one of surprise that he had the balls and stupidity to think that would work for him.
My ss14 was and is a miserable asshole. Unfortunately for dh he is even around him- but less so I guess. They have no contact now as ss14 evidently currently feels like giving him the cold shoulder. All that will change soon though as the Gift giving holiday approaches. My kids also seemed to bring out the asshole in ss14. He seemed to hate everything about them. Constant attacks on them- verbally, at times physically, stealing from them, going to school and encouraging others to pick on them, spreading rumors about them and about my dh and I. Just a miserable waste of space I'm sad to say.
His, your asshole stepson
His, your asshole stepson sounds like my male cat- he can only eat special food , so he lurks around when I'm feeding the other cat and dog, and if I turn my back for one minute he's gobbling thier food! You can't take your eyes off him for one minute, literally. I've said before too on ST, when I take him to the vet they're all like "oooh he so beautiful!" " the most beautiful cat in our practice!" And in the meantime he's a giant tool. I love him, but he must've been a stepshit in a previous life!!!