how can something so simple get ruined?
I thought I was "lucky" that my hair stylist come to my house, well last night I was proven wrong.
My MIL went out of town yesterday and my DH took her to the airport leaving my FIL with me at our house...I love the guy but an hour with him seems like a lifetime. He complains about everything and has an opinion about everything. With trying to get SS6 to school and keeping it quiet so my 8 month old daughter can nap, it was a little chaotic to say the least. My FIL has to have to surround sound blasting and I can't stand it, but he is a guest.
All day I was dreaming about how good I was going to feel while getting my hair done. It was going to be so relaxing...Boy was I wrong. 5 minutes in to the process, DH tell me "I need to go to the store to get olive oil" (BTW thursday nights we have both his kids) I tell him now is not the time because I can not watch our 8 month old daughter while I am getting my hair colored. DH says "oh don't worry my dad is playing with them, I'll be back in 20 minutes" So I try not to worry and go back to talking with my stylist, who is also a close friend, and for about 5 minutes all I could hear were the kids playing with papa.
Then I hear this god awful crash in the next room where they are and I hear my 8 month old daughter crying. I leaped up and ran around the corner to find my FIL twisted on the floor behind my daughter. SD8 is going for best dramatic scene award and SS6 is just sitting there staring at papa. I ran and scooped up my baby and asked "what happened!?" I get blank stares from everyone...Finally FIL says "I was helping SD8 do a headstand and I felt the baby at my feet and I didn't want to step on her so I had to jump backwards over her."
I had no words. I was trying to look at my baby to see if she was hurt but she didn't want to be away from my body long enough for me to look at her. She just wanted to be held. I looked down at SD8, who was at my feet, and she was hugging her legs and rocking back and forth and shaking her head. Um, I didn't see it but I am pretty sure SD8 was not hurt.
SS6 started jumping at the baby and making her laugh instead of cry, which was sweet, so I thought I could put her down and go back to getting my hair done. Nope. The instant I put her down she started crying again. So there I was getting my hair colored with my 8 month old daughter in my lap.
On a side note: FIL is practically a cripple with as many back surgeries he has had. He has a pain pump inserted directly into his body that delivers a constant flow of a very powerful narcotic. Oh and he drinks beer all day. So needless to say I don't leave him alone with my daughter because everyone knows he is addicted to more than one substance.
DH comes home about 15 minutes later and asks why I am holding the baby. I say "well there was an incident and she wouldn't let me put her down." He asks "what happened?" I say, "someone fell over her." He asked, "A big someone?" I say, "Yep." DH asks his dad if he is okay. FIL replies, "yes but I really hurt myself, I'll be paying for that for a while."
I was so enraged that it even happened in the first place!! especially when I found out that FIL was helping SD8 do a headstand and the baby found that interesting so crawled over there and that's how it happened. SD8 knows we do not do her gymnastics crap in the house.
Later I got in the shower to "cool" off and the water goes ice cold because someone has the hot water on downstairs. So, I wrapped a towel around myself and went to the top of the stairs and what do I see? DH has the faucet as hot as it will go and he is on the other side of the kitchen!! I asked DH, "hey um, do ya mind turning off the water so I can have at least a luke warm shower?" He turns it off and I go back to showering. DH come in and asks "what's wrong?" right when I am trying to tell him, the water goes ice cold AGAIN! It was his dad this time.
So I am still frustrated because I have not had the chance to talk to DH about yesterday. Also DH switched weekends with BM so last weekend we had SS6 and this weekend we'll have SD8 and next weekend we get both together. I relief in sight for at least 3 weeks... 
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Do your ILs invade your space
Do your ILs invade your space full time? :?
OMG I certainly home not.
One of my greatest fears is that my ILs will end up living with us at some point. They do not have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of and none of my wife's sibs do either and will not be able to help when my MIL and FIL need it.
Fortunately my wife is not one to throw money down the toilet and has not sent anyone in her family any money over the years. Even through three foreclosures (2 farms my FIL/MIL and one home by BIL1) she has refused to give any of them money.
To help we have food delivered though for some reason this offends my ILs sensibilities and my MIL gets pissed because we only have healthy food delivered that complies with my FILs dietary restrictions. We use our own account so that my ILs can not return anything for cash. We have also had SIL live with us and we paid for her college for a year. We have flown several of the ILs out to visit. But, we do not give them cash. That is just throwing good money after bad.
My wife and I have developed and agreed on our requirements for helping when my MIL and FIL get themselves in a hole so deep that the only alternative is the refrigerator box under the overpass.
1. We will buy a house that they can live in if they have all of their income direct deposited to an account that is only in my wife's name. We pick the house, it is our asset and they get no say in shit for nothing. She will pay all of the utilities, the mortgage and have food delivered from their SS and earned income. Any tax returns go in to the wife only accounts.
2. No crap will be allowed to accumulate in the house that we buy for them to live in and we reserve the right to call the Got Junk truck and donate all of the crap to charity if it accumulates …… with no prior warning.
3. They will live on the budget that my wife develops and will purchase nothing without her prior approval. Since all of their money will be in her accounts this will not be much of a problem.
4. They will be given a very small cash allowance that will be their only discretionary spending.
5. When they can no longer live in the house unassisted we will sell the house, recover our investment with no interest and use the remaining equity to support whatever Medicare will not pay for assisted living and to provide some increased standard of living above SS and Medicare.
6. Upon their demise any remaining resources will be split equally between my wife and her 3 younger sibs.
The plan sounds great but I have no doubt that when shit collapses that the plan will go out the window and we will be the only ones able to take care of my ILs.
Scary, scary.
Ughhh.
Dupe
Dupe
Dupe
Dupe
my MIL is amazing and usually
my MIL is amazing and usually keeps FIL at bay. He would be a wreck and lost without her, but MIL's mother is very ill so she had to go to her and my FIL ALWAYS has something wrong with him so DH wanted him to come to our home for the day. One day is too much for me to handle. I love DH's parents but his dad is too much sometimes. I told DH that if he wants to leave SD8 and SS6 with FIL then that is fine but FIL is not acceptable to be alone with my 8 month old daughter, even if I am in the next room. He just cannot concentrate on watching a baby. Especially a baby that is VERY mobile. She doesn't stay where you put her