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My 2nd blog..Something new happened HELP! lol

Loving Life 33's picture

Submitted by Loving Life 33 on Thu, 04/18/2013 - 11:19pm

Hello fellow Step persons..i have a question but first the story..Ok yesterday i went to my 7yr old StepSons baseball game. 1st one ive attended..upon getting there my boyfrend was busy talking to the coach..and my SS was by me near the bleachers..another team mate arrived..as they talk the boy asks: wheres ur dad? SS: hes over there.... Frend: Who was the other guy with u last time then? SS: that guy that was with a lady n a baby was my step dad n my mom..(points to dad) hes my real dad..Frend: well then who is she?(pointing at me) SS: Oh i dnt know who she is to me..i guess my HALF step mom.. I was speechless..i was sitting rite there!! they couldnt see my eyes cuz of my sunglasses but did he think i wasnt there?? Dad finally walked up n started practice..i couldnt say anything cuz it wasnt the place..also i wanted to get some opinions..Am i to
correct him? im not sure..I have to admit i dnt really dnt feel like a step mom..cuz to me u have to b married to be..but what if we dnt ever get married? what am i? Im asking cuz his mom isnt married to his brothers father but he calls him step dad..none of this HALF SHIT..i do alot for him n my boyfrend..i feel like he doesnt give me credit..i guess...am i asking too much? I do know BM may be telling him im not gonna last with his dad..shes not verry mature...am i over reacting? HELP!!!!!

Comments

JValaThorne's picture

Submitted by JValaThorne on Fri, 04/19/2013 - 1:00am

The kid is probably just confused, and might genuinely not know what "you are to him" If he wouldve said "thats LovingLife, my dads girlfriend" i think you wouldnt of cared, but the half step mom thing....i totally get it, it would've made me be like "whaaat" as well lol. But remember, he is 7...and kids do have a wierd way of wording things.

I say let your BF handle this one. It wouldnt be a bad idea for BF to just have a sit down and have a talk with your SS to answer what ever questions he might have, and to just TALK to him. I understand that you were hurt by his comment, but at his age kids just don't figure things out on their own, dad needs to communicate to his son how things are...or BM will and she might just use a lot of other words that are worse than "half step mom"

Your SO doesnt need to go into ridiculous detail about your relation , just simply communicate with his son. My FDH and i arent married, but my SD5 says I am her step-mother. She knows I am her dads fiancee, I am a apart of her life, and she knows this because before i moved in FDH told SD3(at the time) who i as, and who i was to her, and that he expects her to be a good girl and listen to me like she would to daddy, thats all. As things moved on, FDH was sure to "update" (cant find a better word) SD as much as she could understand.

Do you want to be adressed as Stepmom? Then let your BF know. and take it from there Wink

Bojangles's picture

Submitted by Bojangles on Fri, 04/19/2013 - 8:27am

Agree with all this. If BM has had a baby with her BF that might have made SS think he was now qualified to be a stepdad. I'm a grown up and for a long time I couldn't work out if I was actually a stepmum for the 4 years before we got married, and if so at what point I transitioned! Must be even harder for a 7 year old to understand. I'm sure he didn't mean to be rude to you, it was a difficult situation for him to be in as well.

doll faced sm's picture

Submitted by doll faced sm on Fri, 04/19/2013 - 5:53am

Kids are dumb, or according to Bill Cosby, brain damaged. Biggrin Biggrin Anyway, it sounds to me like he actually didn't know how to refer to you. I mean, it could have been worse; he could have chimed up with, "She's my dad's lover!"

Anyway, I probably would have laughed at him a little, and said, "I'm just (your dad's girlfriend/your dad's friend/etc) for right now." Maybe given the kid a little squeeze or pat on the head to let him I wasn't upset with him.

kathc's picture

Submitted by kathc on Fri, 04/19/2013 - 1:41pm

I dont' think this is something worth being upset about. You aren't married to his dad so technically you aren't his stepmom. The fact that he said half stepmom says that he kind of looks at you that way. Plus, BM is probably reminding him that you're not his stepmom.

Loving Life 33's picture

Submitted by Loving Life 33 on Fri, 04/19/2013 - 4:26pm

Thank u all for ur insightful comments..thanks for making me feel better..Im so glad i found this site..i feel like im not alone now...I really want to b the best Half step mom i can be lol..we may not b able to have children of iur own so im wanting to embrace myb step son..But i wont be a fool in his eyes..i had some shitty step dads growing up so i def dont want him to think of me that way but im not kissing his but either..Thanks everyone..:))