She got caught lying again in 1999 or 2000. She had said she was going to say... "Moffee's" house when he called there to ask her something. she wasn't there. When he tracked her down eventually she said "oh..I said I was going our for coffee not to Moffee's" blah blah. And around that time with his suspicions raised.. she went out for lunch with "the girls" but didn't come home until well after supper.. She was supposed to pick up youngest SD at 5:00 but Mommy Dearest was a no-show and BF was working...he had to find another relative to take stranded SD home.

She said they got talking, listened to a band, went shopping, she bought a nice pair of shorts, they were blue.really cute..blah..blah etc....

Problem was she forgot it was Sunday!!!!! Everything was closed!!! Busted again....she confessed she was with someone else again.

He sent her packing back to her mothers...

I'll have to continue later....
continued....
......She was out of the house for a month or two but begged, cried, manipulated her way back....the final straw was when she asked t meet with with him, sat in the car, refused to get out and cried for 3 hours straight until he agreed to try reconcilliation again.

One of the reasons it was so easy for this woman to control him was that ...he began suffering from anxiety attacks not long after he married her. (Any wonder!!!) He had difficulty travelling alone, he was afraid of having an attack..he tried to avoid stress at any cost..so he was far more complacent than he would've been otherwise..he just wanted to keep the peace.. She slept alot..when she wasn't at work..so he did most of the child-rearing,cooking the meals, grocery shopping, laundry, etc...
She knew that, with his condition.... he was not capable of leaving...and boy she just ran with-it!!!!

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...and he was getting stronger... The last time she was thrown out of the house for cheating was winter 2001 and again she worked her way back in using a visit from oldest SD as a tool. It's apparent now that She only wanted possession of thier beautiful house that he built with his money and his own hands...

We had been acquantences since 99 and would occasionally run into eash other through a mutual friend..and over the years I heard through the friend that he was having marriage trouble but didn't pry..and he like-wise with me.(I began telling my X that I wanted a divorce Christmas 99...I was growing so tired of raising 3 kids instead of 2...we were young when we began dating..I grew up when we had our kids-he did not..he wanted the single life..his friends came first..I began sleeping on the couch in 2000 and we were pretty much living separate lives). BF & I always enjoyed each others company, when we happened to be at functions,..but at the same time we kept our emotional distance from each other...for a year & half our mutual friend kept telling each of us that we were perfect for each other...but out of respect for our marriages as crappy as they were..we stayed a healthy emotional distance away.

One night in June..we began talked to each other about our situations at home, everything..and during the course of our heart to heart we discovered that... we were soul-mates... as corny as that sounds!!

Within 10 days he told his x that it was over between tham and wanted a divorce. He moved into the spare room...but woke up in the middle of the night with her standing over him. She was absolutely raging..after he refused her proposal to stay together but see other people...then it became I'll take you for everything!!!

She had busted the spare-room door in one night....to get at him. He didn't feel safe in his own home..so he moved to a relatives house then we moved in together a few months later..and bought a house 5 months after that.

She had a boyfriend during all this....had been "dating" him since summer 2000 best we can prove..The guy she ended up moving in with. The guy she would whisper to on the phone at her mother's...the guy whose veichle she used to hide in BF's garage when he had to work overnight. YES CAN YOU BELEIVE IT!!! The things that people came to him with after he left her would curl your toes!!!! (There's also a story about another guy and some sex acts in a car...they were told to BF by a mutual friend who knew the guy and his ex and heard the story from the guy and her) This is what makes me think she truely suffers from NPD or some other mental illness....because she needs the thrill of risky behavior..or drama..she braggs about it..Desperate attention seeking behavior.
Also on the night he told her it was over..he wanted a divorce...she said "Don't leave me or I'll kill myself." At that point he's thinking to himself..."What do you need to make it happen..a rope ..a gun..just let me know..I'll get it for you!!!" She starts to take some pills..but makes sure she's standing right in front of him...he didn't do anything to stop her..just said. "It's your life!" When that tactic didn't work..to make him stay..she ran to the phone to call oldest SD and say I'm killing myself now..so goodbye! So he calls 911....the take her to the hospital..pump her stomach..she was never in any real danger..(he's medically trained and knew it.) That was it..she didn't want..any counselling...he knew the whole time it was just her last desperate attempt at controlliing & manipulating him....

He had started taking new meds during the break-up in winter of 2001 for his anxiety and it pretty much cured him!!! She no longer had control over him through his illness....she could no longer use him, manipulate him, mistreat him..etc.. It was over!!!!

I guy who couldn't drive a car more than 20 miles out of town was now hopping on a PLANE and travelling thousands of miles out of province!!

Although still with her extra maritial boyfriend she's still raging over him having the nerve to end the marriage. She had it made for years.....having her cake and eating it too. I know she blames me and not herself. And I'm sure she regrets losing the life she had.

He is "cured" from his anxiety..we share our bills, cooking, chores..he has a few toys now..instead of suppying her with manicures, pedicures, nice cars, that he really couldn't afford.

She no longer lives with her boyfriend..she had to move back to the rough part of town she came from..with her mother..she has declared backruptcy through financial irresponsibility..she has ruined her relatinship with her children by stealing money out of youngests bank account. When her boyfreind first met her she was decked out in manicure,pedicure,salon doos, nice car, nice house, etc...$$$$$...though she was a high end catch....but once he got her...he realized she was just a whore from the wrong side of the tracks.. and once she blew whatever she could steal from BF and her children..he kicked her out! I think the only reason they still date..is that she/he are now working on gettin her mothers money & house....manipulatiing the poor old woman into changing her will...

We did a little background search on x's boyfriend..all we knew intially about him was that she met him on the internet and was moving BF's 15 yr old daughter into a house with this internet guy!!

We tracked down a womans name attached to a property deed along with his....turns out it was his wife-recently separated. We tracked down a phone number took a breath and called her. Lots of information!!!!! We told her X's internet handle...she remebered seeing it on her husbands computer months earlier...we figured out alot together with her. We even exchanged affidavits from her X & Bf;s X because they were saying completely opposite things for each others respective court cases/trials. We found out that he is all about money...finding it..keeping it..he is a very materialistic guy..he doesn't buy Christmas/birthday gifts...he is out for himself. JUST LIKE X!!!!!

I think she has met her match!! He will succede in ""Taking her for everything she has!" where she had failed against BF....

KARMA!!!!! What comes around goes around!!!!!! I say that all the time.....now you know why!!!

So now you know more about my situation... Where some of my issues with SD's, X's and BF originate....

The drama, pain, damage, stress, (I can't quite find the righ word) that this mentally ill woman has visited on everyone in her life....

I read somewhere that Narcissists tend to raise narcissists. I'm constantly torn between empathy for these girls for having to live under her wrath..and total wariness of these girls because sometimes they act just like her!!

I don't understand how these wonderful men get caught up with these nuts....well he was young & stupid. He said he knew 2 weeks after he got married he had just made the biggest mistake of his life!! But he comes from a strong Catholic family.....and til death do you part....he felt he made his choices in life and had to live by them. But your right everyone has their breaking point!!

He's complicated in that on one hand he is a very strong, masculine, guy who doesn't put up with BS, can spot it a mile away..has no problem speaking his mind, taking a stand, he's a firefighter..tough guy..etc but on the other hand he puts up with this stuff from SD's and put up with so much from X for so many years. Mind you once he had enough..he put up with absolutely nothing from her.

I don't think he'll ever take that stand with his kids. They won't ever push him that far......

But I don't understand my SD's either..after 18 years of dealing with their morally banckrupt money hungry, lying , cheating mother why would SD believe her when she said I'll open a joint account for you..so I can help keep your money safe. Or anything else that came our of her mouth!

Why did they fall for X's lies again & again, and put up with the mis-treatment.... (Sd's still do to an extent..mommy dearest uses guilt on them..to get them to do her bidding)

So True....
The hubby's X was the only girl in her family and the sun rose & set on her..she could do no wrong. They were 18 /19 ish. She acted childish and immature as a teen and young woman..back then he thought the "I'm a princess" routine was kind of cute...at first but turns out it's not so cute on a 40+ yr old woman. She never grew up or grew out of her childish, irresponsible, tantrum throwing behavior!!

Me & my X started dating at 19...he told me what I wanted to here..things were great when life was carefree. But when responsibilities came...house,bills,kids...he never grew up either..he still wanted to hang out with his buddies, play pool, play ball, play hockey, golf, travel..to europe.china..while I was home making my own life, paying the bills, house repairs, raising the kids alone. His buddies/social life were #1. Eventually, he got what he wanted his single childfree lifestyle back...

I went for an older guy...my BF is 9 yrs older than me. My x went for a younger woman..she is 12 yrs younger than him. We each found someone closer to our "true age" ....