Places open on XMAS ***alternatives to psycho SD coming over on XMAS*** ideas???
So, my fiancees daughter who has been under psychiatric care since horrible outbursts at age three (they don't know what exactly is wrong with her) is an awful, loose cannon. She told her psychiatrist I abused her until she tried to kill herself (not remotely true) facebooked all about her dad being on drugs when she was mad at him (untrue and he is a lawyer and could lose clients and get in trouble)she has been beating and tormenting her younger brother for years,she tortures animals, she lies constantly, she steals, she told me she had a sexual relationship with her dad...which at one time I almost questioned, she used to try and get in bed with him and scratch his back, walk around the house in her panties all day at age 12 and 13 and trying to bend over provocatively in front of him all the time, sit on his lap, just GROSS behaviors, been on meds since age 8, shit her pants while cheerleading in front of a crowd,when my fiancee left the house once for a few minutes and she was mad she called the cops and tried to say he abandoned them--anyways he is getting all emotional about this being the first Christmas ever that princess will not be opening presents with the other two boys like they do every year due to the fact that she is banned from the house. He is trying to force me to let her come over on Christmas day. My daughter goes to her high school and cannot stand her. She walks into a class and says aloud "who here hates (my daughters name)". She makes a big fool of herself as my daughter is older and more popular and not a psychopath. Anyways- I will not be in the same room as her or allow her to even view my dog much less touch him EVER EVER EVER. So he was proposing me and my daughter go to my mothers and then they can just visit for a few hours.
My problem with this is multi-faceted. He thinks that he will tell her its a one time deal and she will accept that. She still has a room here and everything (emotied out), we have several computers with passwords that can she just log right in to, my fiancee never watches her like he says he will, shes kiniving and sneaky and spiteful and snoopy and I don't want her looking through mine and my daughters stuff and reporting back to her mother. Plus I JUST KNOW that once she comes once she will think "she comes over again". How do you explain to her, yeah it was okay the one time at Christmas but not again. Then I think when her brothers get dropped off she will want to pop in and maybe grab soemthing, she may intentionally leave something here. I just am adament that she NOT COME HERE EVEN THE ONE TIME. And usually I am not here when they are dropped off. Another big fear is that any damage she does he may not know about at the time until its to late, and after the fact he won't be able to un-do it
Our marriage counselor (the bitch) says that unless I can come up with a reasonable alternative then I have to let her come over. And as far as I know...nothing is open on Christmas.
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You just have to call around
You just have to call around and ask. There are things open on Christmas. My cousin and I used to go bowling and to the movies on Christmas.
He refuses to take them to a
He refuses to take them to a Denny's he said. I want to recommend IHOP as the younger boy loves it but he may say thats not special enough for Christmas. He threw a fit originally at the idea of going out and said, "I AM NOT SPENDING CHRISTMAS WITH MY CHILDREN AT A DENNY'S". I was like....sorry, your daughter is a freaking psychopath.
I just don't think its fair
I just don't think its fair that just because its Christmas we suddenly forget who and what she is. She was in a therapy group and she got kicked out. She is flunking most of her classes at school. She will say she is sorry to get what she wants but will do absolutely no work on herself to get better. She blames everyone else for all her problems and takes no responibility for her actions. I am not willing to take the risk of having her the one time and its unfair that they are pressuring me to have her in my house.
Our marriage counselor (the
Our marriage counselor (the bitch) says that unless I can come up with a reasonable alternative then I have to let her come over.
I find this statement hilarious. You do not HAVE to do any such thing.
I would not want her in my house, either. Maybe they can go to the counselor's house for the visit.
The fact that she will not be spending this Christmas like all the others is her own fault. Maybe your fiance needs to think about that.
Stand your ground.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS THIS
^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS THIS THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Um, your counselor is wrong,
Um, your counselor is wrong, wrong, wrong.
MOST counselors are horrible; good ones are worth their weight in gold!
Anyway, no. You don't let someone you know is likely to physically abuse other people into your house. Put to you DH as a legal issue; if she hurts someone, the two of you would be liable since you know for a fact, from experience that she is capable of doing so. If he poo-poos that, then just no. He can figure it out. You aren't the kid's parent, it's not your obligation to figure it out.
P.S. Get a new counselor.
She says, "how would you feel
She says, "how would you feel if he said your daughter could not be there on Christmas" and I was like---SHE LIVES IN OUR HOUSE...WTF? Then she tried to say that me banning his daughter on Christmas is the same thing.
Counselor: How would you feel
Counselor: How would you feel if . . .
You: I don't know since that's not our reality.
Counselor: Well, it's the same thing.
You: No, it isn't. My daughter has never physically violated anyone, stolen from us, etc, etc. It would be the same if SD was a non-violent, respectful child, but she isn't.
Counselor: Blah, blah, blah, she's just a kid.
You: So is my daughter; I'm well aware of what is age appropriate.
But seriously, just drop this dumb box. She obviously has no clue what she's talking about. It's never ok to just sit back and cross your fingers in the hopes someone you know to be violent doesn't hurt your kids.
EXACTLY!!! The last time she
EXACTLY!!! The last time she was banned and came for a visit and my SO decided to go to the store and she had to watch her brothers for like 30 minutes she demanded to be paid. When he said no, she called the cops on him while he was gone to try and get CPS to take them away and get him arrested for abandoning them.
THIS DIPSHIT DISNEY DAD FORGETS SO EASY> HIS DARLING DAUGHTER- "OH SHE WON'T DO ANYTHING THIS TIME". She hasn't seen my engagement ring. If there is a picture anywhere in the house and she sees it she will flip and probably tear the place apart. This is the kind of person she is.
Thats why I am worried...it will be- let her come over, and then I will come home and it will be like a week later and something really important will be missing or she will have hacked into my bank account and transferred money or shit behind the couch or SOMeTHINg. ANd she will do it with a vengeance this time knowing she isnt coming back.
Is your daughter psycho? Not
Is your daughter psycho? Not even close to the same thing.
She is banned because of her actions. Because of her lack of respect, lack of loyalty, and her lack of boundaries. What a moron.
You have to let the kid come
You have to let the kid come over to your house or what? You're grounded? You can't go to the prom? I'd be willing to take that punishment.
Or she won't be your
Or she won't be your counselor anymore? Now that would be a damn shame!
The counselor (who hates kids
The counselor (who hates kids and especially teens)will no doubt be at her beach house. This will be perfect.
^^^This is what I'd do!
^^^This is what I'd do!
I agree with you, why should
I agree with you, why should you be put out, and pushed to the side. If he agreed to the rule that she is not allowed in your home he should not grant exceptions. The only way she will learn is if he stands behind his claims. When she's able to bring her grades up and not act crazy, maybe in the future then you can discuss it, but while she's an insane manic he should not subject you to this drama. Are you really sure about marrying into this crazyness? Once you marry him, knowing that he has a crazy daughter, you won't be able to blame anyone but yourself for the drama in your life.
She is 15 and she has been
She is 15 and she has been mental since 3. It does get progressively worse- NOT BETTER. We all know that the first step to getting better is ADMITTING YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. Well, she blames everyone else. Her therapist, not ours, but hers is worse, is a coddler that just listens to her feelings the whole session and validates her and thats it. She is basically paid to hear her complain.
My idea is she is close enough to age 18 and therefore she will NEVER COME OVER TO MY HOUSE> She lives with her mother and her new husband now full time. My fiancee takes her out to dinner every Wedneday night. There is no need for her to come to our house. Except to...uh, maybe give her an opportunity to have an emotional freak out when she sees that I have taken most of the pictures of her and her siblings down and things are a bit different now. She will BLOW A GASKET!
Chinese restaurants!
Chinese restaurants! Seriously, do not let this kid back in your house. SD14 is banned from my house and DH sees her outside of the house about once a month.
Hold your ground and change the passwords at the very least and put up the stealable items...
A lot of restaurants offer a
A lot of restaurants offer a Christmas buffet, and most offer all of the usual holiday fare. There are loads of people that don't have extended families (or don't want to see them, whatever the case), don't want to host/cook, etc. Finding a place that offers it is easy, just google your city name and the keywords "Christmas dinner". You should get lots of options. At least six reasonable places, within five miles of my home, popped up when I did that exact search.
A new counselor is definitely in order. She seems like she's just doing more damage to an already screwed up situation.
Churches are open on
Churches are open on Christmas. He certainly doesn't have to go to Denny's to see his kid.
She could certainly use some
She could certainly use some prayer!
I picture a scene from the
I picture a scene from the Excorsist. She is the devil incarnate.
Excuse me, but why are you
Excuse me, but why are you going to marry this guy? If you have to have marriage counseling before you are even married, something is wrong. And the counselor sounds incompetent. She's probably a skid herself. Dump her. It isn't going to get better. The skids aren't going away, you will be stuck with them forever. Your fiance is going to want to keep her in his life. She is his daughter. This girl has serious issues and probably isn't going to get better, she sounds really damaged, possibly to a criminal degree. Why would you want that in your life?
I don't want to be mean or rude, but I don't understand why you want to stay in this mess? Too many huge problems. The pressure and stress must be terrible.
That's a great idea. At least
That's a great idea. At least I have ideas for the counselor. Shes not coming to the house.....