SD14 Suspended from School for Drugs - BM Rewards her with a shopping spree
My SD14 was suspended from school for 5 days for buying perscription pills at school and buying pot off property. BM had her for the 5 days of suspension and took her shopping every day and bought her a designer jacket, homecoming dress and allot of other stuff according to SD14. We provide SD14 with a cell phone. We suspended service on the cell phone while she was suspended. The school counselor suggested that she be grounded for three weeks, no phone, no FB, no friends. We locked her out of FB and planned to keep her cell phone service suspended for three weeks. Well...SD14 shows up with a brand new Droid 2 that BM bought her. This was less than one week after she was suspended for drugs. We discovered that she was setting up her drug/alcohol purchases via FB and texting.
Friday was our weekend with SD14 and SD12. SD14 sends a text (from her new phone of course) stating that she will not be coming to our house for the weekend. Last night was our night and again SD14 sends text that she will not be at our house for our time. We called the police both times and the police tell us that they cannot force her to come to our house for our parenting time. WTH!!!
I honestly don't know what to do. SD14 is breaking her Dad's heart. BM is rewarding SD14 for breaking the law! We are tying to enforce the suggested punishment by the counselor and we can't even get her to our house. I so badly wanted to text SD14 and say "you are such a coward" but that would be letting her win.
Now we have to spend money on an attorney to go to court to get BM to stop violating the visitation schedule.
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Comments
::shakes head:: Gosh, I wish
::shakes head::
Gosh, I wish parents needed a license to raise kids or something.
You definitely have to go to
You definitely have to go to court. But, honestly if I were you I would cut my losses on her. BM wants to be her friend, let her. Sorry. We had to do it with SD15 and honestly it is peaceful here without her.
CO or not, can't kids choose
CO or not, can't kids choose where they want to live and/or visit once they turn a certain age? Or does the CO over-ride that? I'd find out the definate answer to that before wasting money on a lawyer to go back to court.
No, there is not a set age
No, there is not a set age where a kid's choice for visitation trumps a CO. If the order states visitation, it is to be followed. If a parents wants the order changed to give the child the option to choose, they need to go before a judge & let the judge determine whether or not the child will have that choice.
There are ages where a judge is more likely to give a child the option, but often it depends on whether or not the judge feels the child is mature enough to do so. For some it's 12. For others it's 13, 14...
I think the reasons for allowing it also have some bearing on the judge's decision.
Of course, not all judges are the same.
CO states that she must
CO states that she must follow the visitation schedule until she is 16.
She turned 14 and decided she
She turned 14 and decided she didn't want to live here. We had 50/50. Since she was over 14 lawyers said to let her go, since I judge would do what she wanted anyway. We did spend 14K on this to settle it...BM wanted CS as well. She lost and ultimately we got SS13 because during that legal battle he decided he didn't want to live with BM. She gave up on him since she couldnt win anymore than we could with SD.
Your situation sounds all too
Your situation sounds all too familiar!
We fought for SS16. Got full custody with BM only having visitation two nights a week, she was lucky she got that. We decided to be nice.
I wished we never had. There has been so much heartache and turmoil associated with doing this that I have to keep reminding myself of why we did it.
If your DH is okay with letting it go, then let it go. If he wants to fight, then you will have to decided within yourself if you are up to the challenge!