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I can't WAIT for school to start

lost in longmont's picture

Submitted by lost in longmont on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 10:09pm

I am ready for bed time to change to an hour earlier. It is 9 pm now and SD is still sitting with us watching TV. I almost got up and left earlier, because she is not someone I want to spend my nights with, but I sucked it up. However, once school starts, she'll be laying down for bed at 8:30. I'm having to be the one to tell her it's time to go to bed. I would leave it to DH, but if I did that it wouldn't happen on time.

Also, I talked with DH about the homework rules this year. SD is entering 5th grade and I'm tired of holding her hand through homework, and guiding her step by step for every problem. At this point it is time for her to learn how to be responsible for her homework and understand the concepts she is learning in school. I told him that I will ask her about homework the night I have her, but on the nights he's home with us it is his job to make sure she does it, and same goes for when she is with BM. I am not going to nag about homework this year. It is exhausting and not worth the fighting. She doesn't want to do it or ask her teacher for help, then I can only do so much.

Two and a half weeks left and I CANNOT WAIT!!!!!!

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Annanymous's picture

Submitted by Annanymous on Sun, 07/29/2012 - 11:50pm

Yes! I do all homework etc too. Fifth grade I wanted to do that too, but her grades dropped and she "forgot" how to multiply or divide. Starting 7th grade and I want her gone at 9pm to her room. She says "you don't love me enough, I feel like you want me out of the room"...I DO I REALLY DO but I have to say aaaww naaaww we luuuuv you suuuu muuuuchhh. I care about her, I love her, but I haven't missed her and she has been gone for a week.

I stopped helping with homework between 5th and 6th and only helped if she asked a specific question. Finally by the second half last year, I wasn't dealing with it any more. I tried making DH do it, but he would just say "aawww its tooo hard for baby, just don't do it and tell them you can't understand". :jawdrop: I only did that ONCE when *I* didn't understand the directions because it was not clear, but I am enmeshed in raising her at this point.

For you, DO IT, that is DHs and BMs responsibilty and NOT your job or problem. They will step up and parent when they realize their safetynet SM is not going to do it for them. Our school starts in a couple of days, but ugh she is at a friend's ALL WEEK and she has to come home tomorrow..

lost in longmont's picture

Submitted by lost in longmont on Mon, 07/30/2012 - 8:06am

I would rather not help her at all. I agree that when I was growing up my parents never helped me with my homework, and it's part because I don't think I ever asked. SD is really bad at math, but last year she did really well on her homework only because we helped her through it all and made her go back over the problems she'd gotten wrong and do them until they were right. Then towards the end of the year I was getting angry at how she wasn't understanding these concepts we kept going over. At that point I decided her teacher needs to understand she sucks at math and the only way was for her to do poorly on her homework. So this year it will be that across the board. I will ask her if she's done her homework, but I'm sure as hell not going to check it. AND I'm only going to ask if she's done it, if DH remembers to do it on his days without me reminding him. I am SO OVER doing things for/about SD that he doesn't even do. Prime example- last night I had to tell him that she hadn't brushed her teeth before going to bed. SO, the second time he doesn't ask her himself, I'm done doing it.