I totally agree with katrinkle, and i wouldnt waste my time being her 'friend', because it looks as though she will use that friend to her advantage. Being friends is cool, but you are already emotionally torn, and doubting yourself.

Do u really want to be on call for her, or her back up plan when dad can't be there? And would be ok with the fact that she wants nothing else to do with you, and doesn't respect your opinions?

I highly suggest a clean break with this peice of work...

The child has two parents who, as you've recently learned, are BOTH very involved in her life. She has both parents every day. She has everything she needs & far more than what so many kids grow up with.

It seems the only "single parent" in any of this was you. The bio-parents spend time together E.V.E.R.Y. day. Even in your relationship, you were missing out on one of the BIGGEST bonding points with your SO. The honesty & respect.

Really, these 3 are still very much a family unit. He has a key to come & go from her home as he pleases. They spend time together every day. It sounds like when you walk away, you're not walking away from a single mother & her poor child. You're simply leaving a family & giving them the space they seem to need to be a family.

1 1/2 years seems like a long to invest in someone & then walk away from. Believe me when I tell you, 1 1/2 & lessons learned is far better to walk away with than 5, 6, 10, 12 years invested & realizing that the last 3, 4, 8, 10 years have been no better (& very possibly worse) than that 1 1/2 you've already done & trying to figure out how to get out.

How convenient for them.

Dude, really? You have been given accurate insight on this woman by other women and trust me, we can smell the bs from miles away. You've been given some good advice on how to handle this situation. Now she's using you as a babysitter and her kid as bait to hold you there. You can't or won't grasp that you are so being played. I don't know what else to say to you except that there is a sucker born every minute. It's like a slow motion train wreck and I can't watch. Take care.

/headdesk /headdesk /headdesk

Dude. First, go reread Katrinkie's post.

Secondly, and I don't mean to be mean, but seriously.... Are you here for real advise and insight or are you just hoping against hope that someone here is going to validate you staying with this woman and try to explain Her side of the story to you?

You made a Lot of excuses for her in your previous post and you seem like you're trying to explain all kinds of things away. The only thing that's changed is now she doesn't want to be inconvenienced by a sick kid so you get to spend the night. She's using you. She is manipulating you. If you're fine with that, stay. If you aren't, then walk. Both will have consequences in the emotions department. That's part of life.

This woman is not some 'poor single mother'. Dad is around Every Day. She is Using you. It sucks, but there it is.

"I don't want to make a wrong decision by staying with her just because I feel guilty of leaving them now."

And ^^^THIS^^^ is why you need to stop being a free babysitter. You are going to get attached to the baby and stay, not because you want to be in this relationship, but because you feel GUILTY.

This is the wrong reason to stay in a relationship.

"perhaps" ????

Perhaps? Interesting.

It is interesting that it would be somehow bad for the child for you to be spending the night even up to two weeks ago but now that the child is ill with a COLD it's not bad or confusing or anxiety inducing for the child to have You as her primary nighttime caretaker.

I also find it Very interesting that you two decided to take time off, but her kid getting a cold is a good enough reason for you to be not taking time off, indeed for you to be stepping up your involvement with both the gf and the child.

This is a cold. This is not cancer or meningitis, it is not an organ transplant or brain surgery. It's a Freaking Cold. She's a mom, she should deal with it. It should not require assistance from a nighttime nurse.

She works from home. For a business that she's part owner of, so I really doubt she's going to lose her income if she's a bit sleepy on a workday or needs to take a nap while the kid's father is there looking after her.

If you're going to take time off, take time Off. Stop looking for any excuse to get sucked back in.