Question about step parents
Ok so I am going to try and make this long long story short. I was born in Scotland after my mother and father divorced. My mom married a Navy man who of course become my step father. A few months after him and my mother married he got orders to come back to the US so we came with him. I was 4 when they got married. They divorced when I was 16. During this time my mother and him had lots of issues. My mother didn't work do SD took care of her and her three children. She didn't want him to be in the Navy anymore so he got and and went to the academy to be a correctional officer. My mother is selfish and has bipolar disorder never been diagnosed with it but I think she is. I remember she hated my SD so when we would be sitting around together we would all make fun of him. He was over weight so our name for him was fat-boy. I found out later that while we were having out bash sessions he heard us. There were many times that he heard what we said about him. My mothers friends found out that his wife cheated on him so my SD invited this guy into our house and helped him out. My mother and this guy ended up getting together and my mom filed for divorce. This man is now my 2 step dad. There were of course a lot of anger from my first step dad so the divorce was pretty ugly. Its been a long time since they got divorced. My little brother who is first step dads bio son is graduating from boot-camp in June and I am going out to see it. My ex SD is going to be there also. I write this blog because I would like to apologize to him and make amends for the way we treated him and thank him for taking care of us. We didn't always have the name brand things but he did provide for us. What do you guys think?
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I think an apology would be
I think an apology would be welcomed by him and it's awesome you are thinking of doing that
Being 27 and looking back at
Being 27 and looking back at how we treated him I am disgusted with myself. Yea he was annoying and yea he wasn't "cool" but he did take care of us and I know he loved us. He has told me before that he loved us like we were his own kids. I cant imagine now how horrible he must have felt to hear his family talking about him like that. We were not allowed to talk to him after him and my mother got divorced and still to this day she hates him and would be pist at me if she knew I was going to apologize to him. I feel that I at least owe him that. He didn't deserve to be treated that way no matter how annoying he was growing up.
I always tell my BF that some day when his kids grow up they will see their mother for what she is. They will look back and see that they were wrong I know first hand about that.
Very thoughtful of you!!
Very thoughtful of you!!
Should your mother "find" out... let her know it was your apology, not hers.
I think that would really
I think that would really mean a lot to him. I think it's a wonderful idea and would probably heal both of you quite a bit. I am sure he carries some of that hurtfulness with him and you might be the one to take that burden away.![Smile](https://prod-cdn-1.ststatic.com/sites/all/modules/contrib/smiley/packs/kolobok/smile.gif)
Like everybody said, I think
Like everybody said, I think it is a great idea. It would probably be unexpected and it will show him the type of person that you are. Good luck, let us know how that goes!
LMR120, really thoughtful and
LMR120, really thoughtful and decent of you to do this. Yes, it may be late, but I'm sure your former SD will appreciate it.
What a great opportunity to
What a great opportunity to right some wrongs. I think it will benefit you both. I think as step-parents, those of us who have skids who don't notice & appreciate the sacrifices we make, we...I know I, at least, am relieved to know that as a step-child you have grown to realize & understand him & his feelings. I hope the day will come that I am fortunate enough to have my skids come to me & let me know that despite the name-calling & insults they've made as children, they recognize me as a good person in their lives. I understand that as children, they feel they must stay devoted to BM & in my case, they reject me because BM is insecure. I do like to think that as adults they will open their hearts & make an effort to right their wrongs as well. I'm excited for you & your SD. Having been in his shoes (as far as skids) I really think it will touch his heart.![Smile](https://prod-cdn-1.ststatic.com/sites/all/modules/contrib/smiley/packs/kolobok/smile.gif)
Thank you guys. I will talk
Thank you guys. I will talk to him when I go out to KY to watch my brother graduate from bootcamp. Even if he isnt receptive to the apology I still owe that to him. I will let you guys know how it goes![Smile](https://prod-cdn-1.ststatic.com/sites/all/modules/contrib/smiley/packs/kolobok/smile.gif)
All you can do is make the
All you can do is make the apology. Whether he accepts it or not is his choice. Just feel good knowing that you made a good choice & did what you can to make things right.