"I saw SS15 on the street and he looked like hell..."
That's what SO's good friend at work told him earlier this week. This is the same friend that SO called for help the first time that SS15 pulled the "running between houses" stunt. SS and this friend have been close - the friend is very young at heart and the two of them would always joke around together. At that time (when SS walked out the first time), this friend, who also knows BM, tried to talk SS out of making the mistake of going with her. SS didn't listen. The friend was happy when SS came back to SO - and of course appalled when SS ran out again.
We all live in the same town. It's not big enough to really be a city, but it does have a large downtown area and a couple of centrally located municipal parks. It's the kind of place where you run into your neighbors a lot.
SO and I haven't run into SS at this point (other than the one time I mentioned where we realized too late that he and BM were in the restaurant we had just walked into, and we instantly turned around and walked out).
The friend ran into SS15 and basically confronted him. He told SS that he looked like hell, like he wasn't being taken care of, and asked what was wrong with him to walk out of SO's house, where he was always taken care of and had everything. Apparently SS didn't have any answers. He just told the friend, "yeah I gotta go I have something to do." Sure. Whatever.
It's just a matter of time until SS or BM decides to say out loud that they did a really stupid thing by teaming up, and blame the other for it.
Can't wait to see what happens then. (shakes head)
L
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That's a good question. I
That's a good question. I honestly don't know. It's certainly possible.
L
Can you get the courts
Can you get the courts involved? It sounds like your ss needs counseling and a stable, happy home...immediately if not sooner. Im sorry yall are going through that; I would think that there would be something you could do? Your ss sounds like me when i was a teenager and i got myself into a lot of stupid trouble - i would have gotten into more had my parents not been extremely involved in trying to keep me out of it, no matter how much my teenage brain told me to resist. Best of luck.
SS had a stable, happy home -
SS had a stable, happy home - with us. SO has full physical custody. SS has walked out twice since the spring. SO let him. The first time, we thought he just needed to widen his perspective. BM lives a pretty bad lifestyle, and SS was used to having everything. We figured SS would wisen up eventually. But it was BM who called SO not a month later and begged him to take SS back, because SS was out of control with her just as he was with us. SO took SS back intending to deal with the issues, and BM agreed she wouldn't let SS run to her again.
SO was laying down the law with SS. We were seeing some results, but SS's attitude was still out of line.
SS didn't like the new status quo, and whined to BM. Within several weeks, BM went back on her agreement with SO. SS ran out again, and BM took him again.
SO and I did everything we could to try to deal with SS's continued and increasing issues. He turned our house into chaos. We've got nothing further we can do for him. And now that he's run out a second time, and BM has taken him a second time, SO won't allow him back.
I really don't know what will happen the day the SS and BM finally have a blow out. And they will, sooner or later. They are both extremely self-serving, and neither is getting what they want. The only thing they have in common right now is too much pride to admit they've screwed up.
Will SO take him back, even though he says he won't? I don't know. Will SS have an epiphany? Only time will tell.
The whole thing is just sad.
L