I've never wanted to smack SS5 so bad.
I cannot wait until BM picks skids up this afternoon.
I was cleaning up the house a few minutes ago, doing my usual rant -- "Is there any reason no one can pick up after themselves?" blah, blah, blah. FH and I were talking in the kitchen about SS5 breaking my Christmas scene thing, when out of no where, SS5 comes up to me and goes, "you don't care about him." It made me FURIOUS. I asked him to repeat what he said. He suddenly forgot. I told him to go stand in the corner. He remembered. I asked him why he said it. He didn't know. If he had been any older, his ass would have been out of my house.
I do EVERYTHING here, and all I ask for is some respect when it comes to keeping hands off certain things and cleaning up after yourself.
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FH hates to get on him
FH hates to get on him because "we don't see them that much." It's ridiculous.
SS5 is getting progressivly worse. SD8 just blew up at me because he's constantly hitting her, laughing at her, etc. SS thinks that he's the boss, and I'm here to let him know that he's not.
He's 5 though. They don't
He's 5 though. They don't understand the situation. My stepsons( both 5), say hurtful things sometimes, which come obviously from the mouth of BM. They repeat what they hear. I just tell them that I love them and their daddy. Later that day they are hUgging me and not wanting to go home
I agree with Tara. If he
I agree with Tara. If he were 13 it would be different. A 5 year old is still a baby in so many ways.
Excuse me. I could have sworn
Excuse me. I could have sworn this was a place to vent, so I don't explode. My bad!
Hello people yes he is 5 but
Hello people yes he is 5 but when do you want to start correcting them when they are 13 and really big assholes - you need to start when they are little if he really had no clue what he was saying he would have immediately repeated what he just said cause as some of you have pointed out he is 5 and does not understand - of course he understands kids are smart like that they pick things up real quick - so livizzie you are right this is a place to vent so keep venting better than beating the little brat!!!
My DD is 5 and believe me she knows when she has done something wrong and I completely correct her and we go from there - people say she is one of the most well behaved children they have ever been around and I did not start last week correcting her I started at OMG 18 months (imagine the horror) expecting your child to behave. Children do not just wake up one day and say Hey I think I will be nice to my SM and everyone else in authority starting today no does not work that way - children crave discipline, structure and having someone hold them accountable - people find this so hard to believe but they do - they want parents to be parents not friends so I hope OP that your DH really gave it to him and I would not worry if he knows he can rely on you two and that you have a stable home he will want to come to your home and if he doesn't then it is probably his lovely mother PAS'ing him out of your lives.
My own DD5 is the most
My own DD5 is the most perfectest child ever created but her mouth does occasionally get her in trouble. And she frequently gets punished for it. She is not only perfect but extremely intelligent (I'm totally objective
)and therefore usually knows when she says something she shouldn't. And she gets disciplined in a variety of ways because of it. And almost every time we go out I get comments on how well-behaved, well-spoken, and considerate of others she is. That doesn't happen over night. Like CG above I've been working on this for years. Children in my home aren't allowed to say hurtful things w/o consequence. Unless they truly didn't realize that what they were saying was hurtful. But at 5 years old all of mine (bio & SSs) were cognizant enough to warrant discipline.
I don;t get how people are
I don;t get how people are saying that you are overreacting? :? I agree with CG, when exactly is the appropriate age to start discplining your kids? You have to teach your children the difference between right and wrong/respectful and disrespectful...you do this when the situation arises. When the children are doing something wrong or being disrespectful you have to take that opportunity to TEACH them. They learn all kinds of things in Kindergarten, which starts at the age of 5, so why shouldn't you start teaching your kids what is right or wrong at this age? I think you had a right to be mad liv. It was hurtful and disrespectful.
I think she is overreacting.
I think she is overreacting. If her 5 year old step-son had said "you are a poopy-head", then I would agree that a stern warning and/or a time-out was appropriate. But no five year old understands the statement "you don't care about him". He is obviously parroting something he heard somewhere else.
...and for the record, I have five very well-behaved kids. My oldest is 22. In the 22 years I have been parenting, I have never once even had a phone call from a principal. None of the kids have ever been in any trouble other than the occasional "talks too much in class" comment on the report card.
Granted, my youngest is still pretty young...I guess the jury is still out on that one. But I consider myself a fairly seasoned mom and stepmom. When you overreact to statements like that, all you do is give them power.
I never said you weren't a
I never said you weren't a good mom or that you didn't have well behaved kids, but every child is different. Different children need different discipline. That is all I'm saying. I think when a child does something that is rude or disrespectful the child needs to be taught the correct way to speak/treat someone.
Not only that, but if the
Not only that, but if the child was disrespectful to the teacher while at school he would more than likely be put in time out. Kids learn more in their younger years, so it would make sense to start disciplining them now. They can't just go around saying mean and hurtful things to anyone else, so why is it ok for him to be mean and disrespectful to his stepmom?
Being furious does not mean
Being furious does not mean that I screamed/hit/whatever SS5. Yes, I was pissed. Did I do anything wrong asking him to either explain his actions or stand in time-out until he could? I don't think so.
The kid is no idiot. He knows when he's saying hurtful things, and he does it because he thinks it's "funny". He gets no real discipline at BM's, and he's not going to be disrespectful in THIS house. I don't allow anyone that comes in my home to be disrespectful.
Most kids at that age know
Most kids at that age know exactly what they are doing! I too am so sick of people making excuses for kids. Example: I have a 3 year old relative while with me will obey and pretty much is a good kid when he and I are alone, However because his mom is not a disciplinarian and pretty much let him do what he wants, when she is around and I try to give him instructions or discipline he will purposely not abide and will look at this mom or run over to her,the complete opposite behavior when he and I are alone. He knows that his mom does not enforce making him do what he is told. Clearly at 3 he has learned how to manipulate a situation and clearly know what the hell he is doing...so at age 5 a Kid should be made accountable for what he said and the end result should be reprimand or an azz beating!
I am truly frightened about the future in so many respects but the type of children that are being coddled to death and parents that give in to every whim. We were out with an older couple last night whos grown son's joined us. clearly the mother who I love have babied her son's all their life which is why the 30 year old is living in their basement as we speak. She was Probably the type of Mom that was considered a good mom and probably didn't do a lot of discipline nor made them accountable and always picked up the pieces for them. Is it doing any good to make excuses for Kid's bad behavior and continually dismiss it as "Kids will be kids" mantra???
you guys that are kid coddlers might end up with 30 year old's in your Basement
Whateva
You have to take a look at
You have to take a look at the situation. He may not understand what he was saying, but he was upset and said something that he probably knew was mean. Regardless of the age, he should not be allowed to get away with that type of behavior. It's all about teaching them selfcontrol. Which should start at an early age. I have had many times in my life where I just wanted to tell some one how I felt. I didn't though. Let's just say I ate a lot of soap as a child.
I've been through the guilty daddy syndrome and it may work out well with the men, but not so much for us. I think spanking might be a little much. What we do in our house is use vinager. If something nasty is going to come out of your mouth, then something nasty is going back in it. It's non toxic, won't hurt them, and is an effective way to get the point across.
I'll agree with HS. I can see
I'll agree with HS. I can see a 5yo saying something like that in that situation. And yes, I would be mad. His father really should have reprimanded him for it, tho. His behavior will only worsen if FH continues to play the Guilty Daddy. It won't take long for the kid to realize that he can do and say what he wants, because Daddy's afraid of upsetting him during their limited time together.