Requesting advice for going into battle sans lawyer
Are we allowed to have a list of stipulations when we go to court for BM and the visitation schedule that we hope for her to have?
For example, we don't want her to drive with SD. Is this unreasonable? I am 99% sure she doesn't even have a valid license, and, she has been in multiple accidents due to what she says was her methadone being raised. She's been in jail though and is not currently on methadone.
Can we ask that BM not bring her boyfriends around SD? BM actually has SD calling them, "our boyfriends." That is sick to me, and none of the 3 boyfriends know about the other. Is this something we can put into a court order?
Every other weekend visitation. Can we request that for BM or does she have to request her own custody situation vs what we request and the judge decides?
My husband, BM, and myself share joint legal custody of SD while husband has sole temp. physical custody pending BM's release and court argument.
Any experiences would be good.
Also, the GAL was supposed to come over today to see the house and talk to me and SD while my husband is at work. She called to cancel at the last minute. That sucks but at least I'm not anxious. 
I wonder if the GAL went to the jail to check out BM's diggs? lol.
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Thank you for your reply. My
Thank you for your reply. My husband works for a firm who's main practice is family law (he works in the financial dept though.) Maybe we can get some kind of discount to have a consultation. Like you said, to get the language right, and, to know what to expect.
We absolutely plan on playing up that we want BM and SD to have a relationship etc etc...If there is one thing that this site has taught me it's, "Don't make it about issues between the parents, make it about best interest of Skid."
Really, though, I wish BM would get her shit right so that SD could have the mom she so craves.
Thanks for the idea!
SO has put in his custody
SO has put in his custody plan that neither of them is to introduce a new SO to the kids until they have been dating 6 months and no overnights with said SO's for 9. It helps to establish some longevity and it's what he and I did in our relationship with his kids. (mine were begging me to date him and since my dd babysat for the friends he lived with she knew we were dating)however you can word it how it works for you because you have a legitimate concern for SD's safety and well being based on BM's history and that's why your doing what you are. the fact you want SD to have some visitation with her shows that. Are you asking for BM to have follow up treatment/therapy/counseling/drug tests as part of visitation conditions? That will help not only you guys feel safer letting SD be with her, but maybe help BM stay in Sd's life.
If she doesn't have a license then no way should she have SD in a car while she's driving what's going to happen when she gets pulled over, here where I live a suspended or revoked license not only can and will they arrest you, the car is towed and impounded (even if you have someone in the car who could legally drive it) you get the tow fee and impound fee and the city fines you 500$ for the hassle (they can do this with the license issue, no proof of insurance, suspect DUI, and serious moving violations). I'd look to a consultation to help make sure the language is clear and done correctly.
The driving thing should be
The driving thing should be easy - asking for BM not to drive is unreasonable - but asking that only a valid licensed and insured driver drive with skids is reasonable. You should be able to ask her to prove it or not send skids.
The relationship thing is tough and most likely seen as a parenting difference, especially if you want to limit drivers.
Good Luck.