my step daughter hit my husband
I've been lurking here for some time. My sd is 17. Her father and I have been together since she was 3. She did very poorly in high school and wants to go to community college. It appears that she might qualify for financial aid, and she was supposed to apply months ago with the help of my best friend who is very good at such matters. She blew off my friend all summer, and she's now registered for classes without applying for aid. She wants my husband to pay anyway. She lives with his sister for now. She came over last night, furious that he wants her to finish applying for aid, and she pummelled him while they were outside in the street. After years of disengagement, I told her it was unacceptable to hit my husband. She told me I had nothing to do with it. Thank god my DS (12) was upstairs and missed the whole thing. I restrained myself from calling the police at the request of my FIL. I'm very upset though and feel something should be done.
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I had a similar incident
I had a similar incident recently when my SD17 (from whom I am disengaged) verbally attacked my husband and I stepped in to defend him. At this point she turned on me and raged - including calling me a bitch.
I would echo what Foxie said, this girl needs a wake up call now from an assault charge, otherwise she will think she can get away with anything.
I agree, you should have
I agree, you should have called the police. My sd13 got to threaten once, I told her even any further threats would bring some badges over!
Unacceptable! You said your
Unacceptable! You said your FIL requested that you not call the police, where was your DH and what are his thoughts on this??
I'm not sure why I didn't
I'm not sure why I didn't call. I supposed I didn't want to mess up her life. I must still have some feelings for her and don't want to be the one to jeopardize her future. You are all right, she cannot be allowed to hit her father or anyone. I worry if she has children; will she hit them? She's had more than 10 years of counseling, but she is still not right. The worst part is my husband seemed so defeated. He defended her to me, saying that she had apologized (after he forced her to). I am trying to think of some other way to impress upon her how wrong she was.
This is abuse and a criminal
This is abuse and a criminal act, no one gets to pummel another person without consequences and your DH needs to inform her that next time she dares to think she a low enough base piece of crap to hit him she will be arrested and go to jail. She is the one responsible for hwr tuition she ahould of and ahould still apply for aid put her classes on a payment plan and when and if ahe gets aid it'll cover what is still owed. Like I'm stuck doing while I fight with financial aid. College adults should know better and no one did her a favor letting her get away with beating her dad.
Well, if she hit your
Well, if she hit your husband, she's likely to hit other people, at which time 1.she'll go to jail, or 2. she'll fuck with the wrong person and be beaten up. Agree w/ Foxie, better she learn the consequences now before she does in that big bad world. I agree w/ stepAside about school- let her work and go at night. She gets no money. Your poor DH. DON'T reward her bad behavior.
I agree that cutting her off
I agree that cutting her off might be the best. This isn't up to me though. Its up to her father. He is the typical guilty father and wants to make up for the divorce, which wasn't his fault to begin with. To my SD's credit, she has been working at a good job all summer and has enough money to pay for college. She will continue to be employed in the Fall. She seems to want my husband to pay as some sign of love or affection.
Another dynamic that I have often seen in blogs here is in play. My in-laws facilitate her reckless and childish behavior. My FIL just called to tell me he doesn't like the idea of a 17 year old (18 next week!) going alone to the financial aid office. After I hung up, I started thinking about 18 year olds having to go to war in Afghanistan.
I so appreciate all of your comments. You make me feel like I am not alone.
I just wanted to chime in
I just wanted to chime in quickly here. Even though the deadline for FinAid may have passed, have her fillout and submit the paperwork anyway. I was *clueless* my first semester of college. I got a scholarship based on my grades and ACT score and naively thought I was all set. I had no idea that it didn't cover everything. I was stunned when I got a bill from the University and was told I would be dropped from my classes if I didn't pony up. I didn't have parents I could depend on - thank *GOD* I had a good friend who's mom was awesome. She asked me about pell grants and work study which I knew nothing about at the time. She took me to the FinAid office and basically held my hand through the process. I qualified for full grant money, and the school still had money left over to give.
Because there are so many kids who think that when the deadline passes, it's too late, schools often have left over grant money to hand out. So, if you're truly looking at your DH caving and paying, please share with him that it may still not be too late.
Who in the hell pays for
Who in the hell pays for college for a kid who has demonstrated her lack of caring about school and who refuses to put forth any initiative?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My soon-to-be ex husband - that's who. :sick:
I agree, why pay? My SD got
I agree, why pay? My SD got all D's in high school. My husband and I paid a lot of money for her to attend high school to get her out of our local failing school, and now it looks like he is paying for college too. In the college entrance test, my SD placed only into Algebra (the class my DS is taking in 8th grade). So, he's supposed to pay for her to take Algebra twice. I should mention that she is extremely bright, and psychological tests showed that she has no disabilities.
But what can I do? I can't force my husband to make her pay or face reality.