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really BM jelous much?!

lil_lady's picture

Submitted by lil_lady on Sat, 04/12/2014 - 2:40am

My partners dad recently got a second place out of town because he had to move for work. I recently had a son and SOs dads birthdays this weekend. I asked my MIL when and what they where doing. My SO told his parents he would ask BM if I could pick up the kids for a couple of hours so FIL could see the kids. We don't get them until the week after because SO is out of town working. In the past BM has just been invited to events because inlaws assumed he was away working. SO told his inlaws this has been bothering him so his dad asked us first. They are also alot more in touch with what BM has done lately and her less then desireable behavior! I think they have really started to see what she has been doing and how much it hurts thr kids. Anyways SO made the request.... here is what she wrote back.
I have a few problems with that request, 1. I have plans with the kids, you have them every second weekend and they are always busy with stuff going on. This means we plan for time to hang out. 2. I have requested time with the kids when my parents, (who are not residents of our town, who you do not speak to) where here and have been denied that request, in fact i have, as well as your family asked to have the kids to see family they do not see (like so and so) and you then also denied that request, and I always have offered the time back to you. 3. You will not even be there 4. I do speak to your parents and have always been offered to celebrate things with them, but as per your request, I see that maybe has been changed, Your mom and dad have my phone number and are always more then welcome to ask about the kids or ask to visit, infact they have a key to my home. So they are always welcome here, if they would like to see the kids when they are with me.

BM was refused once because we where on our way to go visit with his family who is from out of town and she asked the day before after we had made plans.... she has very rarely offered makeup time. On the rare occasion that she has she had made up extra time that he cant take because he works out of town! Oh and she has her panties in a bunch about him not being there yet when she needs after hour care (most I of the time to go to the bar) she asks his family...

could she possibly come across as more jealous?! Im sorry that my inlaws are now seeing through your bs and they actually want to see ALL their grandchildren. SMH

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lil_lady's picture

Submitted by lil_lady on Sat, 04/12/2014 - 2:51am

Oh and her newest bf has dropped skids off every day at daycare for her... please BM continue trying to justify your excuse of SO isnt there. It clearly means alot to you that you exclusively look after your kids! She dso got upset when I was dropping skids off at daycare because SO had an in town job that he had to be at for 6 am.

She would also ask for the skids during SOs time when SO was only able to see them 25% of the time...

Now I dont really communicate with BM but i taking every ounce I self control not to fly off the handle and rip her a new one! Its making me feel guilty for actually having a relationship with my in laws. Its even more maddening to think she actually expects to be involved over and above my sons need to know his grandparents! Gaaahhhh

Thanks for listening really needed to vent about thus because I am ready to loose it. Not to mention only 4 weeks post pardum and still dealing with a mass of emotions and hormones AND complete lack of sleep which completely clouds my judgement.

lil_lady's picture

Submitted by lil_lady on Sat, 04/12/2014 - 9:33am

Omg I was soooo dreading it but almost certain she would not allow me to do so. I asked him to offer up a family member as well. Thinking even if she said yes she would most likely opt for them!

Generic's picture

Submitted by Generic on Sat, 04/12/2014 - 12:10pm

I am SO grateful that my father and his wife continued to "share" my father's family with my mother. Without my mother, I would not have had the relationship I did with my paternal grandmother. The one I named my first daughter for. My dad, like many males, are shit for keeping family together. I was too young to facilitate a relationship without my mother's influence. I suppose my grandmother could have fought her way through a spiteful SM, a bitter BM and a spineless son. Mercifully, we played "happy family" and I got to keep what was left of that side of me.

lil_lady's picture

Submitted by lil_lady on Sat, 04/12/2014 - 12:20pm

I see what you mean tausha but what has changed is as they said it was about the grandkids. Well now (as of 4 weeks ago) they have another one whom cant just be dropped off. Not to mention as of late she has shown her true colors and been denying access. SOs parents found out and clearly want nothing to do with her. SO was also supposed to be home which never happens so they asked him first and therefore we where invited then SO proactively asked for the kids for a couple hours. What she said about being refused access is complete and utter delusion. We declined her once due to already made plans.