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GGRRRRRRRRR.......fake picky eating

Learning to Stepparent's picture

Ok, so SD5 does this thing where she will pretend to not like food I know she does. Cheese is a big one. She will eat cheese on pizza, on cheeseburgers, she will eat cheese sticks, lasagna, pasta with parm on it. Hell, one time the kid was eating chunks of white cheddar dipped in honey to the point that we had to cut her off because she was going to eat it all and ruin her dinner.

We had left over cheese slices from a cheese and cracker tray from the super bowl party we hosted last night so I put some in her lunch for her snack. She said she ate two pieces and threw the rest out because she didn't like it.

The kid is so weird. She likes cheese, I know she likes cheese, she eats it all the time. I can't tell you how many times I will have her try a bite of something new and she will say she likes it but then refuses to eat another bite. A lot of people say not to turn food into a battle and make her eat things she doesn't like but what do you do when you know for a damn fact it is something she likes she is just being defiant about it?

Why does she come up with these random things to be a pain in the ass about?

Also, for extra fun, while she was taking off her coat and mittens and such for her speech therapy session I noticed her knuckles were skinned. I asked her what happened and in front of the therapist said another kid made her do it. We questioned her and she said another kid made her mad so she punched something, I assume the wall. I can't tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing that the therapist was there for that. I guess it's good, at least now if it ever comes up again the therapists will know I'm not an exaggerating, bitchy, evil SM.

Comments

Learning to Stepparent's picture

That's what I told her lol.

I mean really, she eats them at other times. It's like she just wakes up some mornings and decides "hey, I'm going to be a pain in the ass today and see if I can really drive learning to the looney bin."

Learning to Stepparent's picture

Oh, I know it's a control thing. She has been this way for as long as I have known her, going on 3 years now. She learned early and well how to manipulate the adults around her into giving her whatever she wants and it has taken DH a long time to see that is what she is doing.

Learning to Stepparent's picture

Oh I hate it when people say that. Whenever anyone tells me that I inform them that every single day SD5 gets to choose her own clothes (as long as they are weather appropriate), choose what she has for lunch, choose what she has for breakfast, chooses what activity she does after school, choose her own pajamas, bathe herself, brush her own teeth, dresses herself, chooses her hairstyle etc.

Just how much control are we supposed to let this kid have? No one can give me an answer.

Sure, I will buy that some kids act out because they want to feel like they have some control over their lives. Others act out and fight their parents on every little thing because they are spoiled brats who are used to getting their way all the time.

Learning to Stepparent's picture

Aaaannnnddddd.......and hour and a half later in front of the same piece of cheese she still won't eat it.

She is as stubborn as a mule.

Monchichi's picture

I am 100% with Echo. You do not want what comes with them winning. I did what Echo said with PPP. I do not have food problems with my eldest. Nor my youngest but she is only 18 months.

Learning to Stepparent's picture

I totally agree. Now, I'm not a huge hard ass. If there is something I know the kids hate I won't make them eat it. However, in SD's case with the cheese, she likes it fine. She just sometimes decides that is what she is going to be a pain in the ass about and refuses to eat it. She eats it all. the. time. Sometimes, she just doesn't feel like it.

For example, DD is sensitive to spicy food. I'm not going to make her eat andouille sausage if I know she doesn't like spicy food. She also doesn't like pierogis. She regularly eats pasta, mashed potatoes, and cheese and that is all that is in the pierogis I get. Guess what? I make her eat the pierogis. She doesn't have to have a lot, she can eat three or four mini pierogis and fill up on veggies or whatever but she is eating them.

The whole "I like it fine but I'm not in the mood for it so I won't eat it" thing? I don't play that game.

Tuff Noogies's picture

pierogies - HOW can you NOT like pierogies????? :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:

boy i miss "back home" food.... Sad

Learning to Stepparent's picture

I have no idea. It's so weird. I think it's because the food is touching? Whatever, she eats 3 or 4 with very little complaint so I'm happy with that.

Learning to Stepparent's picture

Oh I know. I tell DH that all the time. Of course she will throw a huge fit, she knows all she has to do is scream loud enough and you cave.

It took 2 damn hours but she ate most of the cheese. I would have preferred all but hey, we got most of the way there.

LikeMinded's picture

Ooh Ooh! I solved this one!

SS10 has done this to me for years! In his case, he did this to get attention off of his brother. For example, if DH was talking to his older brother, he'd start saying, "I don't like this", and then all grown ups would fuss over him, "but you love blank", "you've always eaten blank", "since when don't you like blank?", "eat your blank!"

Just like that he got all the adults attention off of his brother. This especially worked well on MIL and FIL.

Well, he did this to me, and it was driving me nuts. After a few years of this, I figured out what to do. I knew hot dogs were his favorite food, so for a week, I made stuff I knew he didn't like (something that involved mushrooms or peas for example) and I told DH, I made him a hotdog because he doesn't like mushrooms. He got hotdogs 4 nights in a row and then he asked me why he was getting so many hotdogs. I said it was because he didn't like anything I make.

Then he whined about hot dogs and demanded to taste anything I made.

So, he's still somewhat of a picky eater, but if he starts pretending not to like foods anymore, I take the plate away and make him a hotdog.

He's much less picky with me (still very picky with MIL, lol!)

Learning to Stepparent's picture

I almost got into a huge fight with DH over it last night. About halfway through the ordeal he looked at me and asked if we were going to go through this the next time we have pierogis which DD doesn't like. I just looked at him and said she has been eating them. She doesn't like it but she eats them without a fight. I really wanted to holler "sure, DH. The next time DD throws a 2 hour fit over eating something she likes to eat all the time feel free to make her sit here until it's gone but I wouldn't hold your breath if I were you since she has NEVER acted like that before."

Learning to Stepparent's picture

Of course she is. Just like she fought us on dressing herself. Just like she fought us on going in the toilet rather than her pants. Just like she fights me on wearing a tank top to school in the middle of winter. Just like she fights me on wiping her butt after she goes to the bathroom so she doesn't give herself diaper rash again. Just like she fought us on swimming lessons. Just like she fought us on wearing boots when there is 2 feet of snow on the ground. Just like she fought us on eating salmon until we told her it was chicken. Just like she fought us when we tried to teach her how to open a door or tie her shoes or brush her teeth or clean herself.

Everything is a control battle with her. Eve. Ry. Thing.

At some point, it's time to shut up and do what you're told.

Learning to Stepparent's picture

Well sure, if she would actually learn the hard way that may work. But she doesn't.

She has given herself diaper rash about 4 different times and it doesn't bother her. Sure, she itches, but the only way we know she has diaper rash is because we notice her rubbing and check it then have to clean her up and start putting A&D ointment on her. And yet, after 4 times, she still decides not to wipe.

She was 4 years old before we got her potty trained because she simply refused to do it. We had to make her clean up her own messes. She didn't care about being in wet, poopy pants. She would play like that for hours until someone made her get cleaned up.

She plays outside and gets soaking wet and we have to tell her to change her wet clothes because being wet either doesn't bother her or she can't figure out how to fix it.

Kids that are on the autism spectrum are different than normal kids and need to be treated differently.

DaizyDuke's picture

I used to do this crap to my own mother (and step father) I was the annoying skid!
I have always been a fussy eater. My mother was one of those that if she was serving it, I had to eat it whether I liked it or not. It made for fun times at dinner while I whined and stuck up my nose and complained and swallowed my veggies like pills with my milk, etc. It got to the point where I would ask my mom "what's for dinner tonight?" And she'd say "I'm not telling you because you'll just stick up your nose at it."

Did forcing me to eat corn, lima beans, peas, beets, brussel sprouts and other grossness as a youngster make me want to eat them as an adult. NOPE.

DaizyDuke's picture

agree.. this is an age thing. BS6 does it all.the.time. He'll eat pepperoni on pizza from the pizza shop, but won't eat pepperoni on a homemade pizza... he says it slides off and he doesn't like that... whatever. The kid has taken a Flinstones vitamin every day since he could start taking them, last week he all of the sudden decided they are gross and he can't stand them. Whatever.. we switched to Gummie vitamins and he's all good now. I remember when my nephew was about the same age as BS6 I would be aghast!!!! because my sister would let him eat ice cream for breakfast. She was always like "whatever, I don't care what he eats as long as he's eating something" He is almost 17 now, a strapping, sporty, healthy boy, who eats just fine.

Yesterday? BS6 had a fruit, then some ice cream for breakfast.. yep I'm now that mom. I refuse to fight about food.

Learning to Stepparent's picture

See, that's the thing. She eats it consistently. On her pizza, lasagna, tacos, cheese sticks, spaghetti, chunks of it, etc. She likes cheese, she just decides on occasion that she is going to refuse to eat it.

I got REALLY irritated last week when I made chicken alfredo lasagna with about 1/2 - 2/3 cup of mozzarella cheese sprinkled on top. Now, keep in mind, my regular lasagna contains at least 2 full cups of mozzarella cheese and she eats plain mozzarella cheese sticks but being faced with the white lasagna with the cheese on top she refused to eat it. Despite eating mozzarella cheese sticks, upon being given plain chunks of mozzarella cheese she again refused to eat it. A few weeks ago I made a cheese plate for DH and I to munch on that included white cheddar and honey. She ate so much of it we had to cut her off so she wouldn't ruin her dinner. Despite that, upon being faced with pieces of cheddar cheese, she refused to eat it.

Food is a control thing with her. Last year she loved salmon just fine. Ate it all the time....until someone told her it was salmon. After that she refused. Until we told her it was chicken. Then she ate it just fine again. When she was 2, her aunt had to tell her the green beans were green french fries in order to get her to eat them. Then she ate them just fine. For several months we had to give her her milk in a cup that wasn't clear because if she couldn't see that it was white she would drink it fine but if she saw that it wasn't chocolate she would refuse to drink it. Keep in mind, she drank white milk and ate cheese and all manner of other things at daycare every day without complaint. It's just her way of trying to manipulate us.

Learning to Stepparent's picture

When she flip flops back and forth every week or two.

This is not a situation where she used to like it and now doesn't at all. This is, I like this fine, I'm just going to refuse to eat it and you can't make me. I don't play that game.

Learning to Stepparent's picture

Yes, she is getting speech and occupational therapy.

She does not have any food issues such as texture issues or only accepting certain foods like some kids on the spectrum are. Her issues are move developmental, coordination, and sensory issues where, except for her hearing, she is more undersensitive than oversensitive.

She is borderline and the designation she currently has is mild, highfunctioning ASD and ADHD.

Some things are not a battle of wills, like the refusing to wipe. I don't think that is so much a battle of wills as it is she just doesn't see why she has to so we have to keep on her to create that habit. The refusing to eat the cheese absolutely is. If she eats it in other places and willingly ate it a few days before, then I'm not buying it's part of the spectrum. It's her wanting to control it.