We are not breaking up we are going to be married and live apart because the youngest SD gives us such trouble.
tommar I don't really care if she is overjoyed because I will not have to deal with her anymore. I'm sure she will try to console her dad but I'm not worried about what she says to him. He will either believe her shit or see right through it. He is well aware of what she is capable of saying and doing. Now he just has to make the choice to discipline her for her actions and do something with her if it's not too late for SD. I think when you are in a relationship with a person with children if the child has no respect for you there will come a point when you can't deal with it anymore. I'm to that point i love my husband and he can change his ways with his kids or we can be apart. i was single for 10 years before we started dating again so even though I'd be sad I'm well equipped to be on my own. I take full responsiblity for my part in trying to parent when that should have fell on my husband and he didn't do it effectively and trying to be supportive of the child and be a confidant for her when i should have been reporting her lies to her father when she said" don't tell daddy he'll get mad at me" I fell for it. My bad. lesson learned. I also place responsiblity where it belongs on the behavior of the child she will soon be 13 and is old enough to show respect and know who to respect, i place blame on BM because from the get go anything the child did wrong was because of me or her dad, never the SD fault Last but not least I place blame on my husband for not being a better disciplinarian and ignoring what he didn't want to see.I had to make him punish her when she asked for the 4th time if the baby was moving or not because she could be dead in my belly, he said "she's stupid and doesn't know better the first two times, the third time i told him she had issues and the fourth time i flipped my shit because he didn't do anything and just know the first time she asked about it we sat her down and explained that it could happen but it was not common and the pregnancy was going fine. I'm not stupid I'm sure she didn't want a younger sibling to take any attention from her.
SOOOOO, I guess after 4 years my eyes are wide open.Oh yeah and I'm definitely in a place of acceptance for whatever happens, i know i an deal with it.

One more thing from the heart I truly hope the kid is happy I'd like to think it may turn her into an honest person but I doubt it though because that apple didn't fall too far from the BM tree. I actually feel sorry for the kids because their mom is first class piece of crap. Any woman that cheats on her husband with kids in tow is messed up. You know that had to warp their way of thinking. I'm no psychologist but if I had to guess its part of the reason the youngest is so obessesive with daddy too. Not to mention BM goes through men like she goes through clothes the youngest actually told her she needed to quit seeing so many men and just stay with one. BM has already had her in counseling once because their relationship was bad. She just lied to the counselor.

My husband may shock me and do something with her behavior because he does not want to live apart but also understands why I can't live with his daughter. He respects me enough to understand that. He's also said if my BD19 behaved that way he didn't know if he could live with her. So he's not in the dark. I'm hoping all this awareness will be good in the sense this time apart won't leave us divorced but time will tell.