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Layla1014's picture

Submitted by Layla1014 on Wed, 12/30/2020 - 4:00am

Christmas eve comes, she demands ss on christmas eve night my bf asks, ok youll pick him up? Next thing she is saying she needs more from him aka money and tells him his stimulus will be all hers. We had done 50/50 no child support the last month and now she wants money to pay for the car insurance she cannot afford, we are struggling as it is and she will get 825 from his check, I cannot work due to recurrent seizures. I am livid once you fuck with my daughters needs youre dead to me. I told bf I will never babysit stepson again, I will not take him in, she wants to drop him off new year its a no from me and him. She told him he won't see ss until he pays money. I told him if he lets her dictate this, we are done. If she or he need help with ss they will never get it from me. Especially her, and I will say it to her face, I made it clear to him. She pays half the rent to a 900 apartment, does not pay insurance, does not have anything else, gets free childcare from her sister. Which her sister called bf, telling him her husband does not want to take care of his son due to," I don't listen to you you're not my mom or dad", she can get child support and pay child care because I am never doing it again. Money hungry bitches, you open your legs and expect everything to be given to you, expect a man to support you because you wanted to be young and have unprotected sex, not my fault. I fear this will let me resent his child even more.

Comments

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Wed, 12/30/2020 - 5:22am

I take it he doesn't have a court order - he needs to get one. Even if that means he for sure pays child support every month, it's better than allowing BM to use the kids to extort money out of him. 

Maxwell09's picture

Submitted by Maxwell09 on Wed, 12/30/2020 - 9:11am

I'm confused on why he's giving BM money from his stimulus check if there's no child support ordered. If he's just giving it to her because she's asking then your boyfriend is the problem here for not telling her "no". He's also the one taking advantage of you by getting you go watch his son. If the BM can't keep him and your boyfriend is at work then it's BMs problem to find a sitter. If you offered in the past then that's on you because no one made you watch the kid. Another point to add Children do no equal money. You cannot withhold a child ransom from their other parent. If your boyfriend had a court order he would know that custody and child support are two separate things. The visitation schedule is the schedule regardless of who gets what money from where. And its for this exact reason. He need to serve her papers for court. If he's afraid to do it because he doesn't want to get put on child support officially then he's allowing bm to blackmail him. The best way out of that is to continue to have the kid as much as you can, track it with detailed calendars and then serve her with court papers. When y'all get to court use all your documentation to prove y'all have the child more than she does so if it isn't equal then she should be on child support. 
 

none of this particular situation is the child fault so if you're going to resent anyone it should be your partner for not taking care of his business. 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Wed, 12/30/2020 - 9:54am

When i got divorced, we spent half a day with each of our lawyers and a mediator. We worked out a very detailed CO. It covered everything, so there were no questions about money, custody time, holidays, vacations, what to do if one parent gets sick or has to travel for work, etc. So worth it. That was an expensive day but i think it saved a lot in time, grief, and probably also money due to lack of confusion.