You may wish to take the time to get a legal seperation? My only advice on that one. Even if it is just a break marking a date as a date of legal seperation may help cover you.

I don't really have any advice. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm sorry that he's said this.

Are you sure you want to go to this extreme? I know words hurt, but was he serious? I'm thinking that for him to say wait until summer means that he doesn't really want it, he's just throwing the "hurt" words. Which of course he shouldn't do.

Sleep on it?

(((((((((hugs))))))))) I'm so sorry honey.

I don't know much about your situation but it seems pretty extreme that he is asking you to leave.

You are completely right in saying that it is his turn to work on the marriage. If he loves you he will do so. Marriage is about partnership and teamwork (with you 2 being on the same team).

He obviously views you as the enemy and that is wrong in a lot of levels. Please take care of yourself. Is your son also his?

One can only hope!

Is this your son together? If it is then you should get a written agreement (email works) between DH and you to move especially if its across state lines. If you decide to visit anyone across state line during seperation (legal sep or not it doesn't matter) it is wise to get another agreement in writing.

I'm not saying your DH will do anything but legally he could charge you for kidnapping. If son is not his biological or adoptive son then there is little else you need to do but leave.

I'm sorry you and your son are having to go through this. I hope DH realizes all the difficulties you've been dealing are valid. Being gone will do this. Keep us posted. ((hugs))

This was me last week. He said he wanted me and my son to leave. I told him fine, if he was willing to give me $12K to replace all the furniture that I sold off to move into his house. Needless to say, he stopped pushing it. I am so glad we don't share finances and I still have a house of my own (for sale). I have given him and the situation with our SD one month. If it doesn't get any better, I am leaving.

I think you should leave, as hard as it is. If my son didn't say he wanted to stay, I would have left last week. These guys have no clue what they are doing if they don't parent their kids. He is going to therapy with his daughter today. We will see what comes out of it. Probably blaming me for a start.

The ONLY time my DH told me to leave, I left. It woke his butt up. Things changed completely after he realized I was serious. He actually stepped up and realized his parenting was the problem (it only took 2 1/2 weeks of me being gone).

Im sorry you have to go through this.

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

Tired, I'm so sorry to hear this.

Unfortunately, it takes two people to save a marriage. If he's not willing to work on it, and needs to see you as the only problem, then there's not much you can do. That's what I realized at the end of my marriage to my ex-husband. He, too, needed for everything to be my fault. He never did anything wrong in the relationship, as far as I can tell, because I never once heard him say he was sorry or admit that he made any mistakes.

If he REALLY means this, and isn't just letting his temper make him say things he doesn't mean, then I think the best thing you can do is consult a lawyer about the implications of your leaving the house (it varies from state to state). He isn't looking out for you, and doesn't have your interests at heart, so you have to make sure to take care of YOUR interests. Don't do anything that isn't advantageous for YOU. Don't give in to anything just to be nice, because you know he would not do the same.

Hugs, Tired. We're with you.

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

Tired---

IF I recall correctly, long ago someone told me, if you need a break from marriage, Make sure you act like you are gong on Vacation in everyones eyes.
So you document this by sending MAIL or emails ect..That way IF HUBBY starts something down the road, you can always say .."N" I was on Vacation --And you have proof dated back to the day you Left on "Vacation"
Another words..send emails to a few "CLOSE" friends, family etc.
Tell them your going on a vacation. exampe below... your NOT sure how long, could be two weeks could be a month, you're just going to have some relaxation and fun.
That way HE cannot SAY YOU ABANDONDED HIM or the Kids..or YOUR HOUSE.
Tell them where you are going, and leave email or cell phone #'s so people know how to get in touch with you.
And tell them you'll see them whenyou get back "home"..and you'll catch up , have dinner etc.
Make it look like a REAL VACATION , not a separation...to protect your interests in house, etc.

EXAMPLE:

Hi, Beth
I just wanted to drop you a quick line. I'm (we're) going on Vacation to the bunk house( where ever your going). I (we) don't have any set date yet for when will return. Plan is to enjoy it as long as I (we ) can!!
We plan on taking this vacation day by day, NO time frame, It should be wonderful...we plan on going site seeing, relaxing and enjoying family & other friends we haven't seen in years.. while we're (I'm) gone.
I will catch up with you when I (we ) get back home.
Let's plan dinner or something fun & I'll tell you about My (our )trip to (where ever your going) and sharing pictures etc.
Until then, you take care, see you soon. I can be reached by email and phone if you need me..
Just going to enjoy, this vacation of a lifetime ..

Hugs, Love, Sus

I agree with Sus. Also, videotape EVERYTHING in the house just in case he does decide to file for divorce. Take any financial documents with you (or at least make copies).

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

I also agree with Sus. But what in the world is wrong with these men throwing these women out in the street. What kind of man does this. screw them. I'm sorry but there is no way i'm but if i'm married and have a house and finances with my husband there is no way in the world that I would be leaving. if he is so uncomfortable then he needs to leave. Don't give in to his nonsense, tell him to leave. and if things get worse and he asks for a divorce and there's nothing else left to be done then divorce him the courts will always leave you with the house because you have a son with him. Then if you want to sell it and get the hell out of there then do it but dont leave without fighting for what you so hard have worked for. Then again if you just want to take a break and go on vacation like the girls say then go ahead and do it but do it the right way...