SD broke my heart..Ugh...DH and I aren't sure what to do anymore.
So today, SD was upset and I could tell. I asked what was wrong and she was hesitant to tell me, but I could tell she wanted to talk. Finally she opened up and told me. :jawdrop:
She said "The usual..Problems with my mom." She said her mom had texted her and told her se wanted to spend the day with her. Obviously BM knows this isn't possible because all interactions are supervised, hence the every other weekend supervised visits. SD said that the idea of seeing mom is good, but she knows mom will just cause problems like she does at the visits. I asked her what problems does BM cause at visits. SD told me that at the last visit there was "alot of drama" and mom was getting angry because SD10 and her brother13(not DH's son) were outside of the facility running up and down a hill racing and BM stormed out and was angry and told SD "How can you leave me inside with [your older sister] who doesn't want to be here anymore and how can you have fun with [your brother] out here and leave me.?!?!?!" "These visits suck and aren't fun and it's all your fault!"
SD said that BM is always blaming SD and her broher and sister for all of BM's problems, and that the visits aren't fun and its all the kids' fault. SD also told me that BM cried alot and gets very angry when the kids don't get upset with her and feel bad for her. SD said that BM usually doesn't interact or play much with the kids, just sits and chats with the fucking supervisor of the visits! I told SD that none of this is her fault at all-I stressed it- and that it's not the childrens job to keep mom happy. SD said that she has asked BM over and over to not be negative and to not cause problems but BM refuses and then denies causing any problems. At one point all visits were cancelled because BM caused so much drama at one of the visits.
I told SD I would talk to DH and ask him to try to talk to BM without arguing about keeping positive during the visits.
I talked with DH and he is talking about going to court and having visits modified from 4 hours down to 1 or 2. I tried to explain to him that it's not the length of the visit..it's the fact that MISERY LOVES COMPANY and because BM is miserable, she wants her kids to be miserable too!!!!!
The kids could see BM for 15 minutes and would still cause problems. SD said that after each visit she wishes she didn't see her mom, but she said she still wants to visit her mom.
I feel so bad for SD10. We are thinking about cancelling all visits and keeping SD away from BM, but I know that would really hurt SD. We don't know what to do.
- LaMareOssa's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Where do these visits take
Where do these visits take place? Who is supervising? Althought I think DH sound talk to BM I also think that whomever is Supervising these visits should also be talking to BM about how she conducts herself. I also tend to agree that if BM is causing this much trouble during the visits then they should be stopped as it is causing more harm than good to the kids.
The visits take place at a
The visits take place at a secure facility that the court ordered and recommended. The supervisor is a man who works at the facility as a "guard" and to make sure that no problems occur between child and parent/s. The supervisor is obviously not paying attention to what is being said doesn't care, or has been all worked up by BM, like most men get around her...grrrrr.
This is supposed to be a professional place that the state uses frequently. DH is thinking about changing the facility and using another facility.
Is this due to CPS
Is this due to CPS involvement? If so I would be contact her worker to notify her/him of what BM is doing. This should not be allowed. All you and your DH can do is listen to her and let her know that you love her etc. It is very sad to hear that BM is doing this to her own children.