We went out to dinner last night with all 4 kids, SO's kids admitted they have NEVER been to a resturant besides Mcdonalds, there were a few moments making good food choices, elbows off the table but otherwise they we're really good and props to SO for expecting manners AND supporting my expectations without problem. SS was nervous and quiet the whole time, you could see the anxiety in him, my dd and I got him to talk tell us about his friend, and his week he loosened up. they are doing much, much better with counseling and you can see the difference without the added abuse.Then we had my nieces birthday party today we took ALL 4 kids, SO was very grumpy that I refused to "help" his kids skate, I refused to help my 12 yr old who still is afraid he'll fall and SO refused to put on skates.
DD and I had a blast skating. Now my brother and his ex have joint parties, they get along great, my aunt and ex aunt get along good chit chat about kids, school their parents. there was no tension, there's never tension with them and their divorce was under bad circumstances but amicable (she cheated got pregnant my brother has raised the baby as his own and we don't see her as anything but his) The bio-dad vanished when he realized that his kid was special needs with a lot of health needs early in life and he would have to pay he isn't even on the birth certificate my brother is.
It was pleasant to introduce SO to my nieces and nephews BM she's a nice but quiet person she was pleased to meet him and happy for me. It reminded me it can be done but hating the ex just can't make that happen. I wish my exh loved out kids more than he wants people to think he's the victim. He's been less like that lately, more civil. His gf even came up to me at the store and asked if one of my kids liked a type of food she was going to try and make, and her dd asked if mine could drive them shopping later. (I'm so happy my kids and her dd get along good.) Still I felt bad those kids have never been to decent restaurants. My gran had me in 5 star restaurants at 2-3, with manners and skills to empress the queen if I ever ended up at some state dinner as a toddler lol