Okay so I know this is usually for step issues but I know many of you are also bio's and I'm hoping I'm doing the right thing. My BD and her dad's relationship has been going downhill fast, he's lied to her ( refused to admit his live in gf was his gf our daughter is 15 and not stupid), broken promise after promise, (such as the gf got a job to get her own place), moved her out of her bedroom to make room for his roommate(not the gf she sleeps with him) then moved our son out of the closet of a room he was in to the couch so his gf's daughter (13yr old) and our daughter had to share a room (not even big enough for 2 beds)because they were only going to be there for a bit as where they were living had fleas (my BD found out through the gf's daughter it was because her dad cheated on her mom not fleas. I kept encouraging her to talk to him about it, everytime my kids complain to me about their dad's house and drama and living arrangements I tell them I have no control over what he does or how he lives they have to address it with him. So our daughter did. He told her "I'll do what I want how I want and you can't tell me what to do!" wtf she told him she needed a bedroom privacy and honesty and that her brother should have a bed (they both do I bought them both beds for his house he just kicked them out for his friends and gf's kid)they know this they see this it infurates me that I can't do anything else to help them through this. Finally it all burst at our son's football game our daughter hadn't spoke to her dad in a month. (he never tried to call, or text or anything!)My SO myself and DD were horsing around at the game she and I were playing around and my SO picked her up over his shoulders and spun her, my ex flipped he stormed by with his gf and said to my SO "you shouldn't be playing with other peoples kids!" and headed for his car my SO put her down and sulked away and my ex's gf stomped up to my DD's face and told her "he's trying his best you know!" hello he never contacts the kids he hasn't spoke to or text her in a month she has tried to tell him how she feels she has tried to explain to him why she's hurt she's a 15 yr old girl who misses her daddy and thinks he doesn't want her! She's a great student, she's well behaved (I'd never trade my 15yr old for any other teenager for sure!)she has been respectful to his gf even though she doesn't respect her she was raised by both us to be respectful to adults. Well that lit my DD's fire and she rapidly went off in text to her dad and let me tell u I had to several time stop her from sending and saying things that though true just no way would I let her say it to her dad. She then informs me after she sent a text that the gf gets her 13 yr old DD high went my ex isn't around and that gf's DD is already having sex, and stole pot from my ex and his gf took it to a church function and showed it to my DD! andher dad defended them. DD felt defeted, deflated, unwanted, not "cool" enough to compete with the trash he has become and surrounds himself with. Me I get home I send the gf a message on facebook and emplore her to speak to ex to encourage him to talk to DD to not keep pushing our kids away. I don't like this woman because she's a terrible parent in my eyes but she is in my ex's life and I just want my kids to have their dad to know him and judge him as they will. DD got her permit and asked her dad to take her driving he did they talked, he did it again, DD seemed happier. she's refused to go to his house for over a month for all the above reasons and so her brother could sleep in a bed when he's there. Today she went to his house, I'm glad to a point, I have huge issue about the pot, but can't afford to push it in court, and I'm afraid my kids would hate me for turning their dad in. Then DD started texting me dad's being honest admitting (after 6 months) that gf really is his gf (funny side note he changed his facebook status the day my SO moved in so I was told lol)he friended DD on facebook after 2 years of refusing because I have her password ( have now asked his cousin to monitor her page I really really don't want to see or be accused of seeing his facebook) and DD was texting me pic's of their day, I know she wants to share with me I know she wants my approval and my attention and to let me know all is well today, but I want her to focus on the moment with her dad being her dad even if he screws it all up again tomorrow. I wanted to tell her to stop texting me I don't care what her dad says or does I think hes full of it and just going to break her heart again, but instead I told her I was trying to study we could talk later. Am I even doing this right at all? Am I really doing the best for my kids? If I'm not how the hell will I manage skids even eow? Gah I hate thinking I'm not good enough. Long I know I'm sorry.