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Parenting plan too detailed!

Lalena75's picture

SO finally heard back from BM's lawyer, her secretary to him his parenting plan would never be accepted as it's too detailed. Uh isn't that the point to avoid continued court action, or mediation and the costs. It's detailed for a reason because BM can't harass and control things that way it's all in the parenting plan. anyone ever heard of such crap too detailed?

Comments

Cheyenne Arizona's picture

Usually if parents agree a Judge will sign off on it - detailed or not - now imo to many details can backfire on you and restrict your lives. Just triple check and think it all through from both sides.

Lalena75's picture

I'm not sure, it spells out visitation, holidays, and birthdays, medical, schooling , transporting, moving (if long distance what the parents must do if it will effect the visitation), cs, and who pays for what, conflict resolution process, and access, and decision making. We got it off the web I helped SO research the in's and out's and pit falls of joint custody, I've read him stuff from here, and my own experiences with parents who had shared custody (what us kids referred to as get-got-go)and his and BM's lives (and her and her associates long criminal histories), her lack of getting the kids proper medical care, and that they both want to be involved with the kids he with as little conflict as possible, it was tailored to meet what SO wants and then I went through it with him and helped him skim it down to reality. BM doesn't want him to have choices and decision making ability and half the control, she probably will freak when she realizes with their financials and her income she may have to pay SO cs, and her own childcare (SO doesn't need before and after school care) Looked like a pretty standard joint parenting plan as a lot of the ones I've found online and others discuss here I think the lawyer is going to come back with something as vague as her first other BM gets sole custody and SO gets "reasonable visitation"

Lalena75's picture

That's kind of our plan to laugh at the plan we get back, SO already filed his plan with the courts, and as he's not paying a lawyer won't be out the lawyers money when BM and her lawyer dick around in and out of court till BM is broke and can't fight. SO wants to be clear with her it's about whats best for the kids and avoiding more and more legal fees ( due to his unemployment his court fees were waived)He didn't leave much wiggle room in the parenting plan for compromise because he wants this done as soon as possible, but he's not gonna budge on visitation, holidays, and who pays for what (each get a kid on taxes,parents pay for child care they need, insurance 50/50, same with school supplies and fees) BM is going to fight because she doesn't want the kids she wants the $ (cs, childcare) and is always making up stuff the kids need (shoes right after he bought them both 2 pairs, glasses for his son he didn't need and the kids ins pays 100% any way and more like that)

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

Funny, same thing happened to us.DH tried to instill a very detailed parenting plan, and BM refused on the grounds that it was too detailed and they haven't even thought about it. (wtf?)

Turns out she just wanted to to fight with DH about the parenting plan so she maintains a connection with him. We were basically broke at the time and were still wracking up lawyer fees so we gave it up in the end and nixed any parenting plan. That drove her into a frenzy because she just wanted to maintain a connection with him and this was the only way.

SMof2Girls's picture

Sometimes I think lawyers want you to stay vague so you have to pay them to come back and fight out the "interpretations" in court (for an additional fee, of course).

DH's attorneys pushed him to settle, telling him he wouldn't get any better than that anyway .. not only is it still kicking us in the ass now, but it gave BM that sense of winning. Once they get it in their heads that they CAN win, it makes every negotiation or conversation that much more difficult in the future .. they feel untouchable.

misSTEP's picture

Exactly. Make it in vague terms in order to keep them coming back to court (and get more lawyers fees)