I asked SO to leave and even packed him, BM is maybe being arrested as we speak
I have a line I'm not willing to bend on. Something that to me is essential to a good strong trusting relationship. I've discussed it with SO the first time there was crossing of this line I explained why it was important and a deal breaker. He acted like he got it. Then did it again this time it was plain and simple if this happens again we're done. He did it again I asked him to leave and packed him up when he though I was "acting crazy knock it off" I was polite and calm, he screamed and called me crazy. I sat down and refused to engage he told me I was throwing away the greatest thing to happen to me. I asked him as he left if he even felt bad for hurting me he told me I was nuts and crazy. I never raised my voice or name called I even told him he wasn't a terrible person but this was a line I would not allow crossed or blurred it is my #1 deal breaker. He went to stay at his mom's sent me texts how when I realized I was wrong I'd know where he was, and was it worth it to throw away 2 years, and I loved your kids like my own. I would not respond. I disengaged from it all for myself because I have to continue on with life.
5 min ago my bff called me near hysterical she'd had to call 911 on BM she was beating her oldest daughter (not SO's) she could hear BM screaming and cursing at all the kids and hear BM hitting the oldest and her oldest screaming for her to stop.
Cops are there. I'm listening to it on the scanner. SO wouldn't answer his phone so I have bff and his sister tell him. Cops have his info. BM is being arrested it sounds like. SO is homeless and his sister said she is telling him to get an emergency RO on BM to protect the kids. I don't know what's going to happen I feel bad this is happening and I kicked him out, but not bad because he made the choices to cross my line. I have to teach him I will not be mistreated, or disrespected. Guess I'll see how this plays out
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Comments
Ugh how can someone be
Ugh how can someone be freaking out on their kid enough 2 neighbors one a cop can hear her hitting them and no arrest? Cops left BM not arrested, SO text me asking what he should do. Told him to figure it out.
Wow. That is very sad for
Wow. That is very sad for those kids (about BM).
If you do decide to talk with him more at some point, please suggest he get the kids very intensive professional counseling and file for emergency custody.
I'm sorry things didn't work with SO
What did he do that was so
What did he do that was so bad?? I mean, it sounds like this was strike 3, so I get it. But, dang.
And...as for BM, it all depends on what happened. Parents are (unfortunately) allowed to smack their children, so...
For your own peace of mind, turn off the scanner. What happens with BM no longer affects you. Boot her out of your head.
SO has done some things that
SO has done some things that I have considered not exeptable... my response if you feel you want to give him another chance would be to sleep in a seperate room and take some time to just be around eachother and figure it out. The kids dont have to see you are fighting and it gives him a clear picture that his actions are not ok. We have a spare room for guests and the kids go to bed after us so that would work for us. Its almost like a break that the kids dont get dragged into. I havent gone as far as to do it. However, when SO realized how serious I was about fixing this situation I was uncomfertable with he changed his tune pretty fast. So either has respect for you or he doesnt. Unfortunately sometimes you do have to show them how serious u are and that sucks!
I think you did what most
I think you did what most people can't and that is you set your boundary - and he chose to cross it. I'm with you on dropping him out of your life completely, especially since he referred to you as crazy and nuts. Forget him. You're better off.
I'm glad you told him to figure it out. I think a lot of men would use this scenario to get the woman back in his life and you're not biting. Boundaries are important to me like they are to you and I'm proud of you for holding your ground. I have one specific boundary with fDH and he's crossed it twice. I always wonder what I'll do when he crosses it again. (It's lying to me btw). I'd hope I'd be as strong as you. We all should uphold ourselves to standards and accept nothing less.