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HELP SD9 is acting out

ladybugz80's picture

Submitted by ladybugz80 on Tue, 04/09/2013 - 6:01pm

Hi I am fairly new here. DH and I gained custody of his two children over a year ago due to BM having Mental Health issues and wanting to kill the children. SS12 seems to be adjusting well despite BM and her equally narcissistic spouse trying to turn children against us and using her emotions to make them feel bad. He seems to be happier than what he was when he was living with BM. SD9 has been acting out like nothing and more so after visitations with her BM. Have had her in counseling and all she seems to do is play a pity party (BM was notorious for this) complaining about how she has no toys or how she is in a house full of boys. Now today I find her diary and now she is referring to me as the "fat, lazy stepmom" and I am extremely irritated by it and not sure how to approach the situation with out blowing my fuse or better yet dealing with the BM in a rather inappropriate manner. B

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hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Tue, 04/09/2013 - 8:08pm

My own bd wrote down that she hated me in her diary when she was about 8. She also wrote that I was fat and couldnt lose 5 lbs in 60,0000 years or some other sort of nonsense (I was on a diet-she was hitting below the belt). My older dd found it and showed it to me and I simply put it back where she found it. I actually thought it was sort of funny!!

But I do know it is different when they arent your bios-you are more sensitve to the hatin. More apt to believe that that is they way they really feel. But just wanted you to know that bio kids do the same thing.

ladybugz80's picture

Submitted by ladybugz80 on Wed, 04/10/2013 - 5:40pm

I have honestly tried just talking to her so that she knows the door is open but it only works until the next visit with the "nice lady" then its back to square one. I know that by reading it there would be some good, some bad and some indifferent stuff in it. I just never thought she would take to the personal attacks like that and it may seem as a coincidence that this latest diary entry was the day after her visit with the "nice lady" Based on the history with BM is the reason that I do read it and wanting to know what is going on and how she is feeling about certain things. I know that BM was critical of us for changing the kids schools. She was more upset than the kids mainly because she lives right beside the old school and could gain access to the kids easily which is exactly part of the reason we moved them.