I have been with my fiancee for the past 3 years, engaged for 1.5. He has a 7 year old son, who lives 6 hrs away with BM. BM and "DH" (for the sake of argument) dated for 3 mos before she got pregnant, which she claims was a mistake but I am certain she did it for the money. BM is a nightmare, comes from nothing, money hungry, demanding, inflexible, expectant, etc. Anyways along comes SS and they marry & divorce in 11 mos when SS is 2.

I start dating DH when SS is 3.5. I was 28 and have no kids of my own. Also, I moved across the country away from my family to be with DH as his job prevents him from moving. I chose to do this, I never looked at it as "giving up" my life but "choosing" a life with DH. I had hope, I loved him, I wanted everything to go smoothly.

Fast forward 3 years and here is where we are. I came into his family who immediately put up their walls, assuming I am just another money-hungry gold digger who's after their son. His sister is an alcoholic who has repeatedly verbally abused me while on a binge. But worst of all is his kid.

He's 7 now - and he is the centre of all the things my DH and I fight about. His visiting opens the door to my inlaws feeling entitled to entering my life. They come around my house day and night to spoil him, all the while critiquing me. SS gets anything and everything he asks for from DH and the inlaws so as they can mend their own guilty, broken hearts over this little brat moving 6 hrs away. It took him 2 hours to open his Christmas presents!!!!!!

SS is delayed - not developmentally due to a condition but because he plays "baby" and everyone thinks he's such a cute, helpless little thing. They fill a void by focussing attention on him and overindulging. I can't stand to watch it.

Any suggestions for parenting I've offered, ie: discipline, consequences, boundaries, etc. have spurred DH and his family to call me "heartless" or out of line, and the fact I don't have children of my own means I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. (I said once in a fight that I never wanted kids after seeing DH doormat himself for his bratty son.)

Things are always on BM terms (they have shared custody but his primary res is with her) and DH bends to her will because of his fear she won't allow him to see his son. SS tells us all the horrible shit she and her BF say about us, it's ridiculous, I can't stand her and her horrible little son is a spitting image of her.

SS is a spoiled, infantile, moody, pouty little brat who manipulates his dad into getting his way. He has learned that if he is denied, he can say "This world hates me!" "You don't love me!" in order to get anything he wants. If that doesn't work, he asks grandma/grandpa and pretends he is somehow neglected at home.

Everyone is buying into this spoiled little shit's game and especially DH. Guilty Parent Syndrome to the max. This kid drew all over my kitchen wall that I had JUST painted, and denied it, as if someone else in the house is 7 and stupid and would do it!!! No, you little fuck, it was you!! DH didn't punish him for lying or anything, just told him not to do it again.

He eats with his hands, crawls on the floor like a dog, pisses the bed, won't speak properly ("me want dat" "over dere"). We need to cook special food for him that he wants to eat. Living with a huge toddler is exhausting and the sound of his little wussy voice grates my last nerve!!!